The Russian Princess

Chapter 22- Falling

(TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SELF HARM, EATING DISORDER)

Lexi's P.O.V- A month later

If I could describe this past month in one word it would be hell. Why you may ask?.

Well as we started getting suspicious of William we decided to give him time consuming tasks that aren't that important. We are trying to limit his access to information, but we were unlucky since he would get suspicious.

Apparently I am the disciplinarian boss while Carlos is the one who keeps the peace. If you told me that a year ago I would've laughed. Now I see it is pretty accurate.

I decided the only way to find out who the rat is to make a fool proof plan and I did.

To understand my plan you have to know that every week all the lieutenants get a paper with the shipments they are in charged of and it's only to be seen by that lieutenant. I designed it like this so not one person except Carlos and I know all the information. Everyone has bits and pieces, but no one has the full list of shipments.

I decided to switch it up and give the lieutenants the whole list but each lieutenant gets a different time so that if shipments get stolen we know who leaked the information.

We decided to give William the last week since it's the biggest and Carlos swears William is innocent, I on the other hand think he is guilty.

Flashback Begins::

We are in Carlos office arguing about Williams part.

"CARLOS HE IS THE RAT" I screamed and he laughed

"WILLIAM IS TO BE TRUSTED. I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR A WHILE AND DIEGO TRUSTED HIM" Carlos shouted back

"AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT HIM. HE IS NOW 6 FEET UNDER. IF WILLIAM IS THE RAT  THEN HE HAD SOME PART IN DIEGO AND AMELIAS DEATH" I shouted back tearing up

"STOP. NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THEM. WHY DO YOU BRING THEM INTO EVERYTHING. YOU ARE SO EMOTIONAL" He shouted and I slapped him...hard

"IM SORRY, IM NOT THE BAD BITCH YOU KNEW AND LOVED. PEOPLE CHANGE. SHIT HAPPENS. THE SHIT I WENT THROUGH WAS HORRIBLE. YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I THOUGHT MAYBE  MY FAMILY WAS RIGHT. I AM A DISGRACE TO THE GARCIA NAME. MAYBE I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF, THEN ALL THIS WOULD BE OVER." I screamed

"ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE OF ME. I MADE MARCO ANGRY, I SAID YES TO BEING A LEADER, I LOOKED UP TO DIEGO. I KILLED THEM AND I LIVE WITH THAT. I WAKE UP AND GO TO SLEEP KNOWING THEY WOULD'VE BEEN ALIVE IF I HAD JUST SAID NO TO BEING A LEADER.  SO YES I AM EMOTIONAL AND SENSITIVE TRYING NOT TO MAKE ANYONE MAD SINCE IM WORRIED THEY WILL COME BACK AND KILL THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT" I screamed while tears streamed down my face

"Lexi...I'm" Carlos started saying but I stopped him

"Don't. I just need some time alone...please" I said and left the room

"Thank god the walls are soundproof" I mumbled as I walked into my office and cried for hours

Flashback over

Ever since Carlos and I fought a week ago I have become numb to everything. I pretend to be happy when I'm with everyone but they know I'm faking it.

I tried to be near Adriana but even she couldn't make me happy with her laughs.

Looking at her is just I reminder I killed her parents. She is parentless because of me.

Carlos has tried talking to me but I just ignore him. We eat dinner together in silence and avoid eye contact with them.