Lilac's Lies

43

It didn't take much pleading for the nurses to allow Clara to stay after visiting hours were over.

Which was a relief, because Jesse and Khalil had insisted on staying in the room the whole time. They both didn't speak much, they only cast curious and nervous glances towards me. And I knew why, they were terrified that I was going to gain my lost memories back any second.

And they were right to be terrified, because I knew that something was going on. Something fishy, something not right. Something that needed to be covered up so badly that Jesse was ready and willing to blackmail Khalil and his family.

I could understand now why Khalil couldn't tell me. His family was high profile in our city, his dad being a well regarded lawyer. Rumour had it he was in line to become a judge. The video leaking would destroy them. Though, I was still hurt. He was lying just as much as Jesse was, and just as much as Brett was.

"Read this one," I pointed to Clara's laptop screen, she was scrolling down the results that appeared when she searched 'boat accident, July 22 Pigeon Lake."

"Okay," Clara clicked on the link, and the screen opened to a news article from the week after it happened.

"Police have opened a criminal investigation involving a fatal boating collision that happened in the channels of Pigeon Lake on the late hours of July 22nd. Blah blah blah. We know all this," Clara read from the screen absentmindedly.

"Police are announcing that the life lost belonged to Derrick Richardson, who was 25 at the time of the accident." Clara continued, before her eyebrows narrowed. "Derrick Richardson? Why does that sound familiar? Richardson... Richardson..."

"Roman's brother," I muttered, closing my eyes for a second as I said it. How was it only yesterday that I had found out it was him? It felt like weeks.

"Wait," Clara snapped her head towards me, "what the fuck do you mean that's Roman's brother?"

"I mean Derrick Richardson was Roman's brother," I repeated.

"Woah, woah, woah," Clara pushed the screen away from her like she was scared she was doing something wrong. "When the hell did you find this out?"

"Yesterday," I told her, "when I was at his house. After we had sex."

"Holy shit," Clara breathed out. "Does he know?"

"Does he know? What, do you think I said, hey Roman, thanks for the sex last night. Oh by the way, I was a part of the reason why your brother died."

"Well, I guess when you put it that way," Clara sighed. "I mean, are you okay?"

"No," I said, looking away from her. "You know I was almost ready to tell Jesse to go fuck himself, and face whatever consequences happened, because I felt safe with Roman? For once, I felt like a guy actually gave a fuck about me. Now, no matter what happens... Roman and I can never be together."

"Never say never," Clara said as she patted my back. "Stranger things have happened."

"Do you honestly think Roman would ever forgive me? We had barely started, we can't continue with something like this in our paths. It's just not possible," I told her, which is the truth.

Roman has only ever thought of me as one way. He's seen the girl that I used to be and he hoped I could get back there. In fact, he was always counting on the fact that I would get back to being the girl at the lunch table. He never considered that I could never be her again. At least, not to him. No, once he knew, I would only ever be one thing. A liar.

That's the tricky thing about lying, isn't it? Once you're a liar, you'll never be anything but a liar again. Everyone will always think twice about what you're saying, always looking for the flaw in your words. Always looking for the clues to the real story. No one will ever trust you again.