The Prince's Wedding

Three Strikes Before Dawn. 23.

I adjust the bow holding the ponytail on Halley's head one last time as we get ready to leave the cottage, before turning her to face me.
 
"Are you okay?" she asks, surprising me and I blink at her.
 
"Yeah, sure. I'm fine."
 
"You don't seem too excited about returning back to the castle." She says with concern and I just sigh.
 
"For the last time, stop worrying about me, Halley. I'm the one worried about you. We don't have to go back just because they asked us to... you know that right?" I ask her and she just nods.
"And if you're not comfortable with all these sudden changes, you can tell me, and we'll stay in our cottage for another month. Even longer if you want." I assure her and she shrugs.
 
"Okay." She simply says and I squat to her level, looking her in the eye.
 
"So do you want to go back to the castle? Are you sure you're ready for this?" I ask her and she observes me for a while, then sighs.
 
"I do enjoy being in the cottage... it's our home." She starts, "But now that Prince Alex is still going to marry you, you could be a target again, and it'll be a lot safer if we're in the castle than here. I don't want anything to happen to you.... plus I really enjoyed staying there before." She says and I let out a brief chuckle.
 
"Well that's beautiful, Halley... but it's not your job to look after me. I just don't want you to feel like you're being forced into a situation you're not ready for."  I say to her and she just smiles.
 
"Don't worry, I'm okay." She says and I take in a deep breath as I get back up and turn towards the door, letting the breath out slowly, my mind battling between relief and anxiety.
Relief because Halley is okay...
Anxiety because I'm not.
I know a royal carriage is waiting on the other side of the door, ready to take us back to the castle just as scheduled and even though I've had the time I requested for to sort out myself and my feelings... I still don't feel ready.
After one month, I still have to face what I've been avoiding all this while... seeing Prince Alexander again. We hadn't seen each other since that night and at first, I thought it would do me good to stay away from him for a while, but it was impossible to detach myself from him...despite the time apart.
I still felt drawn to him in every way possible.
Somehow, my life had been deeply entangled with his in just the six months we'd spent together and so... he existed in every routine, in every memory, in every cup of wine, in every glance at the stars, in every look in the mirror. It was like none of the actions were truly complete without his presence.
Dealing with that for a whole month was challenging enough... now I have to live with him again. And I know I'm not exactly ready for this, but what about him?
Is he okay?
 
"It's a pleasure to have you back, Lady Melissa." Felipe greets me just as the doorman opens the carriage door, revealing the castle and the castle grounds.
Felipe helps Halley out first and as some guards escort her into the castle, he reaches for me and I hesitantly take his hand, allowing him to help me out of the carriage and into the castle.
 
"Would you like anything before you're escorted to your chambers, My lady?" he asks me as we near the staircase and I look around the wide entrance, my heart thudding.
He's not here.
 
"Where... where's Prince Alexander?" I ask, unable to stop myself and a quick look of surprise flashes across Felipe's face.
 
"Well, The Prince is in his chambers but... currently occupied, My lady. But I assure you, he will present for dinner." He says I just look away, not bothering to reply.
I want to tell Felipe that I don't care if he's present or not, but I know that's a lie. For some reason I do care.
I care to know why he isn't here, especially since he's the one who begged me to return.
But I bite my tongue instead and follow Felipe as he leads me back to my chambers.
 
"Lunch and dinner will be served at the usual time, My lady." He says when we get to my door and I turn to him just as the guards open the door for me.
 
"Do I still have to eat with him?" I ask, sounding more worried than I intended and Felipe sighs.
 
"Yes, My lady. It remains the safest option since you're not sharing his chambers again. We shouldn't rule out the fact that you might still be a target."
 
"I'm not ruling it out... I just... I just don't think I want to see him." I admit and Felipe's brows furrow as he observes me.
 
"I see. You're not ready then." He says thoughtfully and I look away, ashamed of how he can easily read me.
"It's okay, you know. No one is going to force you to do anything you don't want." He says gently and I turn back to him at those words.
 
"But it doesn't matter. I'll have to see him eventually... and I don't know if I can."
 
"Melissa, Prince Alexander is not a monster." He says like he's trying to carefully convince me, "I know he made some mistakes but he is human after all, and I guarantee you, he has been trying. Things are different now."
 
"Things may be different, but... people don't change Felipe."
 
"No, they don't. They grow." He says softly and I remain quiet, his words taking an effect on my perspective of things.
"I've always known Prince Alexander to be strong willed, focused and passionate and for most of his life, he used those attributes to protect himself. It may have appeared selfish, but it was his way of coping with whatever life threw at him... and when you came into his life, you were somehow able to help him direct those attributes to care for the kingdom which resulted in him using it to care for you as well. And I know it didn't seem like it, but in accepting that Unity Plea, he was thinking about more than his throne. Deep down, he really thought it would save you. Yes, it was impulsive and unfair, but the minute he sensed your life could be in danger, he cancelled the whole thing. So, I know it's going to take some time for you to adjust, but please don't run away from him." Felipe says and I sigh, mulling over his words while he simply bows and leaves.
After I get into my chambers, I spend most of the day wandering around in it, observing the new changes in it like a small shelf of books in the corner, the new sheets which feel like the ones used in Prince Alexander's chambers and the locks attached to my windows... all the while thinking of Felipe's words.
He's right.
  I have been running away from Prince Alexander... and I shouldn't. I may not trust him anymore, but I guess it's not fair to make him feel worse by avoiding him. And as much as I hate to admit it, I know it's more than trust. I'm avoiding him because...I miss him.
 
*****
 
ALEXANDER
 
She's back.
It feels exciting just knowing it, just thinking about it... though I know she can't stand to see me again. Earlier today, when I had heard the horses return back to the castle from her cottage, it took every willpower in me not to rush down the stairs and hug her, and whisper in her ears how much I missed her. It was all I wanted to do, but I knew it would only make matters worse.
She doesn't want to see me.
And as much as I'm ready to show her that she's my sole priority now... I just had to accept it and give her the space she needs.
But as I walk into the dining area, I'm greeted with a sight of Melissa and Halley having dinner on the table and almost immediately, Melissa looks up, causing our eyes to meet. For a second it feels unreal, like one of the dreams I have about her where she returns back and tells me she has forgiven me.... but then she takes in a deep breath and lets it out before her eyes slowly wander away and I know it's real.
Slowly, I walk towards the table and join them, a million thoughts dancing in my head and a million words wishing to be said, but I just make a plate and start eating, forcing the words down my throat. We eat in silence for a while until Halley gets up and slightly curtsies,
 
"I wish to leave for my room now," she says and looks at me as she stands upright, "It's a pleasure to see you again, Prince Alexander."
 
"Pleasure's all mine, Halley." I respond and she smiles, before turning to leave, a couple of guards escorting her. Melissa and I continue eating in silence, but every time I glance up, her eyes meet mine and each time it happens, I can't predict the look in them.
This is ridiculous.
I can't sit here without talking to her... and I can't pretend that I can resist the need to talk to her either.
"It's nice to see your face again, Mel." I begin and she abruptly gets up, curtsies and leaves the room without a word, leaving me speechless for seconds. Then I leave the table too and race after her, catching her just at the top of the staircase.
 
"Melissa." I say from behind her and she stops moving, but she doesn't turn around.
"I know you don't want to see me," I start as I climb up the rest of the stairs while she remains standing with her back to me. "And I've tried to stay out of your sight all day... but I can't pretend that I'm not happy to see you, because I am."
 
"Of course you are." She says flatly and resumes walking away, but I still follow her.
 
"Not for the reasons you think... not anymore." I say and she slowly stops walking just as she gets to the door of her chambers, almost as if she can't decide whether to walk away or turn around.
"I'm happy to see you because it hasn't been the same without you. Eating without you hasn't been the same, hearing matters without you hasn't been the same.... it's like the castle has no life in your absence." I admit and she sighs deeply, her breath sounding shaky.
 
"Can you at least turn around? Please?" I plead and she slowly turns around to face me, her blue eyes focused on the floor.
"I know you don't want to see me or speak to me, and I'm willing to respect that... but seeing you right now, I can't help myself. I've missed you, Melissa."  I say sincerely and she briefly looks up, our eyes meeting only for a second but long enough to see the emotions in hers.
 
"I've missed you too." She admits softly, shocking me, "But that doesn't change anything."
 
"I know... I know it doesn't." I say, moving closer to her as my heart thuds with hope, "I just want you to know because... it's the truth. This past month, all I could think of, all I could dream of... was you."
 
"Why are you telling me this?" she asks, finally looking up at me.
 
"I had the opportunity to tell you this before, when you asked me to look you in the eye and say I didn't just want you back because of the throne....but I couldn't because I wasn't sure. Then you walked out that door and everything changed, Melissa. Every single day without you came with the harsh reminder that I didn't want you back for my throne...I want you back because I can't do without you. I spent a month ruling this kingdom without you and I realised that there's no point being king if you're not by my side." I say and Melissa's eyes flood with tears before she looks away.
 
"Goodnight Stefan." She says and quickly turns back to her room, rushing inside without a second glance.
 
"Goodnight." I say to her closed doors, wondering why I didn't just keep my mouth shut and give her the space she needed.
 
***
 
I lay in bed, restlessly tossing and turning like I've been doing all night... my mind filled with thoughts of Melissa.
Did she leave because of what I said or because I said anything at all?
What did I do wrong?
Did she really miss me?
How do I convince her that I'm saying the truth?
The thoughts and questions multiply, suffocating me with paranoia and worry as I toss around in bed. For some reason, seeing her had awakened emotions in me that I hadn't dealt with in a while... and now I can't sleep, I can't focus, I can't think of anything else but her.
Groaning with frustration, I finally sit up in bed and shove the comforter away, dropping my head in my hands as I remember the way tears flooded her eyes. I just had to keep talking, I just had to make her feel uncomfortable... like my mouth hasn't put me in trouble enough.
What if she cried herself to sleep?
What if she decides to go back to her cottage and stay there until the day of the wedding?
Following impulse, I quickly get up, grab my robe and head straight for her chambers, thinking of different ways to make things right. But the minute I get there and knock on her door, everything escapes my mind.
"Melissa?" I call out softly, suddenly realising what a bad idea this is.
I'm literally waking her up from sleep.
When I don't hear a sound, I turn around and try to leave... but then I hear the door open from behind me and I turn back to see Melissa, visibly standing through the slight opening of her door, her eyes wide awake and focused on me.
 
"You're awake." I say, slightly surprised as I walk up to her and she just keeps staring at me.
 
"So are you." She replies softly, her gaze leaving mine and I take the opportunity to admire her long, flowing hair resting behind her small, round shoulders—
"Why are you here, Stefan?" she asks, pulling me out of my thoughts and for a second, my mind is blank.
 
"I..." I begin and she stares at me, waiting. When I don't say anything for a while, she sighs and tries to shut her door, so I say the first thing that comes to mind.
"I can't sleep." I admit and she pauses, then looks at me, saying nothing...so I keep going.
"I can't sleep because I keep thinking about you. I keep thinking about everything I've done to offend you and I know it looks like I'm making things worse...but I'm just trying to make things better. If I'm not doing it right, please tell me how I can make things better." I say and she looks away, shaking her head.
 
"You can't." She says quietly.
 
"Yes I can, Melissa. I'll give you all the space you need--"
"It's not about that."
 
"Then I'll eat separately so you won't have to see me--"
 
"No, you don't understand." She says and looks back up at me, "You can't because you already have done the right things. What you said this evening...made me realise how serious and sincere you are. I'm just avoiding you because I keep thinking about you too." She admits and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I stare at her... shocked.
My heart starts pounding in excitement while I stare at her, digesting her words.
 
"So...thinking about me--" I begin cautiously but she cuts me off.
 
"It scares me, okay? I thought staying away for a month would help but it didn't...and then when you said those things to me this evening, I realised you were being honest and maybe I could trust you again...and that scared me even more." She says and I just stare at her, speechless and overwhelmed with emotions that I don't say anything for a while.
"Please, go back to bed, Stefan." She says and tries to shut the door, but I stop it right before it closes.
 
"Wait...don't go yet." I say and she looks at me.
 
"Why not?"
 
"I... I like hearing the sound of your voice." I admit, my brain still processing her words.
Melissa just remains quiet for a while and before I can think of what to say next, she completely comes out of her door and throws her arms around me in a tight hug. I can feel her body relax against mine and I hug her back, savouring the moment and every inch of her warm, jasmine scented body I've missed so much.
Then she sighs and whispers in my ear, "Goodnight." And just like that, she slips away and enters room, shutting the door before I can respond.
 
****
 
Back in my room, I stay awake for most of the night reminiscing the feel of Melissa's body on mine. Holding her again should have made things better...and it did... but it also made things worse. In that short moment she was in my arms, the world felt perfect again and I realised that I'd missed holding her more than anything...and now I want to relive that feeling over and over again.
A cock crows at that instant and I turn to the window, staring at the sky as it slowly turns to a lighter shade of blue...hinting that the sun would rise very soon.
I've been up all night.
Sighing, I turn away from the window to face the other side of the bed...Melissa's side, now cold and empty. I shut my eyes and try to force myself to sleep, but all I can do is think of holding her again. So I get up and leave my chambers, this time, completely sure of what I want to say to her as I head for her room.
When I get there, I knock and to my surprise, she opens it almost immediately.
"I can't sleep without you Mel...," I begin gently, the moment I see her face, "I need you.  I know you're scared of trusting me again and I'll do whatever it takes--"
 
"I can't sleep without you either" she says softly, cutting me off, "Can you hold me till the sun comes up?" she asks as her eyes search mine and I blink in surprise.
 
"Of course." I manage to say and she reaches for my hand and pulls me in, shutting the door behind us. With the first sight of dawn visible through the window, we both get into her bed and she snuggles into my arms, causing a smile to grace my face as I hold her close from behind, cherishing every moment.