My dark Professor

19

Caspar

My hands shake as I write down the last word. It looks stark and unmatched with the rest. My fucking hands won't stop shaking.

The clatter of pens and books echoes in the room. The murmurs became louder with every breath I took.

They must be wondering what the heck got into their teacher.

Their teacher wasn't the same teacher they knew. He was a different man. A man with nothing but light in his former dark-poisoned heart. A man who has finally found his true antidote.

Remember when I said my antidote was writing? Well, it isn't. It never was, to begin with.

I've found the real cure to my sickened heart.

It came in the form of a tall curvy girl. A beautiful tall curvy girl with hair like a cloud. Hair that defies gravity and skin that matches the color of every carnal sin a man could think of.

Just thinking about her makes me lightheaded. But in a good way. A very good way.

I turn back to the class with a smile on my face.

Their shocked gazes confirm my earlier thoughts.

"I want to congratulate each of you. You did a tremendous job on the last assignment."

More shocked looks come my way. I heed them no attention.

"For that, I'll give you bonus points to boost your grades."

They cheer out loud. One thing stays the same. Students will always be excited to get free points they hadn't worked for.

I'll reward them anyway. They deserved it for dealing with my grumpy ass this long. I wonder how none of them haven't stabbed me yet. Because I would have stabbed myself if I could. My behavior had always been rude and uncalled for. Not saying I've completely changed over the past few months, but I definitely am not as I was.

There was no guessing who the reason behind my sudden change in behavior was. She was the reason my hands won't stop shaking. Long after I finish my lessons, my hands still shake with nerves.

It was her birthday.

Her twentieth. Her age reminds me that she was forbidden for me. She didn't need to be with someone a decade older. She didn't need someone who lived a thousand lives way before they knew what life even meant.

She needed someone her age. A lanky bright-eyed boy who would tuck flowers in her hair and blush at the sight of her. Like my gardener Louise does. He thinks I don't see him noticing her. I've noticed her longer than he has. So I knew.

He would follow her to the garden and woo her by tucking flowers in her hair and laugh like a fool at every word she said. I don't blame him. I really don't, but I hated the feeling I got every time I saw her eyes light up at his antics. It pains me to see someone else make her happy.

It hurts me to know I couldn't be the only one to do that. I was replaceable to her.

So I needed to show her I could be the best for her. I would do whatever it takes to be irreplaceable.

This is why I needed to make this birthday memorable for her.
Which is also why my hands are shaking with nerves. I don't want to mess this up. I've obsessed over every detail of the night ever since she told me the date of her birthday. Weeks ago.

I planned out tonight's surprise weeks ago. I was that head over heels in love with her.

Wait.

Did I say the L word?