Lost In Memories and Curses (PJO HOO STORY)

CHAPTER 14: CRYING IS A GOOD RELEASE, YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME

ANNABETH POV

I couldn't fall asleep right away, but I just lay there, in Percy's arms, as I just stared up into the sky. I was counting the stars, ones that shone so brightly under the moonlight. I wondered if Artemis was watching over us tonight. After all, it isn't that safe for all eight of us to just be on the floor of our boat.

At this moment, though, I just didn't care.

I hated how weak I felt. I remembered when I first came to camp as a wilful 7 year old, fighting tooth and nail on the streets. After just losing Thalia, I struggled with opening up. I poured into knowledge and fighting, working to become the best demigod and fighter ever so that I could just prove myself to the gods. To let Athena know that I'm worthy of being her daughter.

The daughter my father or step-family never wanted.

I yearned for home for years, building relationships but distancing myself from others at the same time out of fear of abandonment.

And then Percy came and changed everything.

He was sarcastic, willful, and awfully stupid. But he was sweet, kind, and loyal to a fault.

After our first quest, everything started to go downhill. Glory was more than just fighting. Glory meant surviving. And, at this rate, I'd kill for a break.

Gods, I just want to relax.

I want to sleep without nightmares. Not feeling my mind dissociate with reality as the bright sunny day suddenly gets tinged red and the wooden floors I was just standing on turning into the glass beach of Tartarus.

I took a glance at Percy, happy that he was able to fall asleep for a few minutes, though I know that it was just out of exhaustion. He had deep, purple bags under his eyes from the past three days he spent without sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he would jolt them back away, the sea-green color I loved turned to a deep, raging ocean of fear. He would hold me, all night, desperately listening to my breathing and heart rate just to ensure that I was still alive.

I never understood why his flaw was bad before. Sure, I got the whole thing that he could sacrifice the world for his friends, but I always thought his loyalty was a good thing. And then I saw how it breaks him, day by day and I realized that I'd kill for him to just think about himself for once. That he didn't feel like a failure. That he didn't feel like the reason I was as traumatized or as scarred as I was after Tartarus. I wanted him to just know that it's okay to not be okay. I'm sure as hell not okay and I know he isn't either. I just wanted him to know that we can both heal and work our way out together.

I continued to stare and Percy, just admiring his hair when I suddenly saw his eyes dart back and forth behind his eyelids.

Oh no.

Gods, no, he was starting to have a nightmare.

I tried to shake him awake, hoping that I could pull him out of his sleep and snap him out of his flashback, but it looked like the curse was taking its hold on him.

His eyes opened but they remained unseeing. And he was staring right at me. He shoved me off of him, forcing me to release a painful grunt as I landed on my branded shoulder, the burn making me hiss. The sound made the others wake up as well and everyones eyes turned towards us.

Percy's head was just snapping back and forth between me and the others. Jason tried to approach Percy and reached out his hand.

"No!" I screamed, yelling for Jason to move back. It didn't register fast enough because Percy already flipped him over his shoulder and had him pinned to the ground. "Everyone, please don't approach Percy. Let me deal with this."

After everyone stepped away from my boyfriend, I slowly came closer, as if trying to pet a rabid animal. His eyes flashed dangerously as his mouth curled down into a vicious snarl. I suddenly lunged for him. I winced in pain as we both somersaulted over the wood, knowing well enough that Percy was also in pain but just too out of it for him to feel it yet.

I was barely fighting him, just trying to get him to keep his arms down so that I could hold onto him.

We have this procedure for whenever one of us gets like this. Just hold the other tightly and just whisper things in the ear to make the flashback go away.

"We're okay, we're not there anymore, we're both safe, we're alive".

Things like that.

But I couldn't get Percy down first.

He landed a punch to the face, making my whole head crack backwards. I heard the others make a cry out for me, but I glared at them to be silent.

Percy was on top of me now, his legs straddling him and holding me firmly down. We both lost a lot of weight in Tartarus and I wasn't strong enough to lift him up and off me.

"Percy, listen," I tried to speak. "We're not there anymore, remember? We got out. See, we're sitting on the wooden floor right? That wasn't down there. And here, touch my shirt. It's clean and nice. We're both safe. We're doing okay. We're alive, Percy. We're free."

I just kept on whispering things to him and, on some level, I knew it was registering a little bit.

But I couldn't fully get to him.

Because all of a sudden Percy had his hands wrapped around my neck and started to choke the life out of me.

I couldn't breathe. I could feel my face get red as my oxygen level depelated. I started begging for him to let me go, but the sounds just came out as little agonal gasps. I was slapping my hand against the floor, hoping that the sound could at least snap him out of it.

This wasn't him, I told myself. This isn't the Percy you know and love. He's having a flashback. It's okay.

I could feel myself starting to pass out when the mist finally cleared from Percy's eyes and he let go of me. His eyes widened in fear as he scrambled off of me, looking at his hands in betrayal with a broken look in his eyes.

I gasped for air, my neck all swollen, red, and little red with purple, hand-shaped bruises. With the black eye and the bruising on my neck, I looked horrible, but I knew Percy felt worse.

"Percy... Percy! Listen to me!" I cried, crawling towards him, my voice horse and croaky from the previous choking. I hated seeing the look on his face and I knew I had to get to him now. "This was not your fault Percy! Listen to me, this was the curse, the flashback! Percy this wasn't you. Seaweed Brain, I LOVE you, you hear me."

"N–no, Annie, no!" Percy shouted, scrambling to get away from me. "Stay away! Gods, Annie, I hurt you! I promised I'd never hurt you and look! Gods, stay away from me! I'll only hurt you again."

I was approaching him like a feral animal, tears streaking my face. I was backed up against the wall, having no other place for him to go, and stopped fighting against me, just keeping his head bowed down and crying into his arms. I tentatively gave him a hug, wrapping my arms around him. He flinched at first, but soon leaned into the hug. His sobs broke my heart as I just tried to relay all my love for him without any words. I was stroking his hair, letting him cry on my shoulder.

"Shh, Percy. It's okay. I'm okay. Don't worry, Percy. We'll be okay," I told him, over and over again. The two of us just sat there in the corner for the rest of the time. His cries eventually died down, but none of us moved. I gestured with my eyes for the others to just move on and to just not mention this for now. This was hard enough for Percy. He doesn't have to deal with them right now either.

"Σ' αγαπώ."