Deadpool X My Hero Academia ︱One-Shots

S.H.I.E.L.D

"Okay! So, hello there, lovely readers!" I declared with a dramatic flourish, addressing all you beautiful motherfuckers out there.

"Who are you talking to? I didn't hear anyone enter?" Blind Al piped up, her ever-present sass cutting through the air like a knife through... well, anything really.

"The readers! Obviously! Now, I just wanna say that today is going to be one hell of a day! Because I am off to S.H.I.E.L.D., and let me tell you, they have no idea what they're in for. They think I'm just some mysterious, enigmatic force. Little do they know, I'm a high schooler with a knack for chaos! BUTTT, we're gonna have soooo much fun! It's gonna be like a sleepover, except with more explosions and less sleep!" I grinned maniacally, already envisioning the chaos to come.

{Hold on, if we want to spend our spring in New York, why don't we just rent a motel room instead of crashing at S.H.I.E.L.D.?}

(Because we don't want to hear people banging all night)

{Fair enough.}

"So! It's time!" I declared, slinging my duffle bag over my shoulder before pressing the button on my belt. Bright lights engulfed me, enveloping me in their luminous embrace as I prepared for the grand entrance.

===

"Okay, so the info about the current thief is still under investigation," Agent Coulson droned on, his voice echoing through the dimly lit room as he briefed the rest of the agents. Seriously, could they be any more emo with all this black decor?

"What the heck is this?" one of the agents exclaimed, pointing at the growing blue light in the center of the room.

{They are so going to hate us.}

(Agreed!)

"Surprise, fuckers!" I bellowed gleefully, materializing above the table and descending into a free fall, much to the shock and horror of everyone present.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Nick Fury's voice boomed with fury, his eye practically shooting daggers at me.

"Language," Captain America interjected casually because even in the face of la me, manners are important.

I landed on the table with a dramatic thud, then immediately snapped to attention, pointing with exaggerated awe at Cap. "HOLY SHIT!!! Captain America is here!! It's such an honor, sir!" I exclaimed, saluting as if my life depended on it.

"Deadpool," Cap acknowledged with a nod, his expression somewhere between annoyance and apathy.

(OMG, OMG, OMG! CAP LOVES USSS!)

{He barely even said hi.}

(Don't ruin my dreams)

"What are you doing here?!" Fury demanded, his patience wearing thin as I stood there, duffle bag still strapped to my back like some deranged backpacker.

"Well, you see, I was hoping I could crash here for a while!" I exclaimed, flashing my best grin, which only seemed to make Fury angrier.

"What? No. Absolutely not. Do you think this is some sort of a hotel?!" Fury fumed.

"Well, no. BUT, don't you remember Operation H?" I hinted, watching with glee as Fury's demeanor shifted ever so slightly, a glimmer of recognition flickering in his eye.

"..."

Some agents started to look confused.

"How long do you want to stay here?" Fury finally relented, much to the surprise of everyone, including Cap.

"Only a week! Then I'll be out of your non-existent hair!" I promised, practically skipping with joy as Fury begrudgingly agreed and instructed an agent to show me to my temporary accommodations.

As the agent opened the door, he glanced around nervously before whispering, "I know I'm not supposed to ask... But what's Operation H?"

I chuckled darkly and replied, "Yeah, but no, sorry! Nicky wants me to keep it hush-hush."

The agent nodded quickly and scurried away, leaving me alone with my two ever-present companions.

(Let's check out our new crib!)

{Yellow, it isn't "our new crib," it's a temporary room which we will be staying at.}

(Why do you have to be a downer?...)

"Well, I don't care if it's temporary or not! I wanna see what it looks like!" I declared, already bounding into the room with all the enthusiasm of a kid in a candy store.

===

Unknown to Deadpool, the camera nestled in the high corner of the room silently tracked his every move

===

The room itself was a study in contrasts, with its stark combination of black, white, and light blue. Tall walls stretched upwards, adorned with a few sparsely populated shelves. A desk and matching chair occupied one side of the room, while a pristine bed beckoned from the center, nestled against the far wall.

"Whoa... A clean bed!" I exclaimed in sheer amazement, my voice echoing off the walls. Seriously, folks, you have no idea how rare it is to stumble upon a bed that hasn't been baptized by... Y'know... This is practically a miracle! Maybe Fury really does have a soft spot for me after all!

{This is just a clean bed?}

(Yeah, I gotta agree with White on this. If you're amazed to see a clean bed, you might want to reconsider your hygiene habits)

I grumbled in annoyance at their lack of enthusiasm. Can't they just let me have this one moment of joy? But hey, nothing can rain on my parade now! I've got a cozy room at S.H.I.E.L.D., and an entire week of freedom ahead of me because it's finally spring break!!

{We still have a ton of homework.}

"Don't ruin this moment!" I shot back, plastering on a grin and doing my best to ignore White's nagging voice. After all, who needs homework when you've got a clean bed and a week of chaos stretching out before you?

===

-Hello! It's me again, The Writer :P

I hoped you liked this chapter! Because I tried a more pro-ish writing this time! ANYWAY!

END OF CHAPTER TWO OF ONESHOT STORY!-