How to Not Circle the Drain: Keeping it Together in the 21st Century

Flipping the Switch: Distraction

Options to Cull the Relentless Herd of Thoughts and Emotions That Make Your Head Throb

The ability to distract ourselves from an unproductive thought pattern or emotion is an important skill for humans.  Distraction involves any activity that takes your attention off of something that you are focusing on, usually something unpleasant, uncomfortable, or distressing.  It is not about denial, or permanent escape or avoidance of upsetting things, but rather a pit-stop so that you may buy yourself time to decrease the intensity of the negative charge.  It is a focus diversion, intended to provide temporary relief from issues, thoughts, and feelings that may warrant revisiting.  This is not an absolute as one may need to distract from a garden-variety bad mood or attitude on a particular day, which may not need a revisit.  There may also exist recurrent problems or issues that need to be dealt with in more depth at some time in the future as opposed to the immediate moment, that may benefit from the implementation of distraction skills.

First, let's deal with distracting ourselves in the immediate moment,  in situations or circumstances when we are not able to access  an activity that is more time consuming such as reading a book, creating something, watching a movie, talking to a friend, or skipping down the road. Yes, I just said that. What's wrong with skipping? Sometimes we get so jaded, we forget that some of the things that made life worth living when we were young might potentially still be practiced. Maybe consider wearing a wig and big glasses while doing it!  Seriously, distracting ourselves includes thinking outside the box by considering a wide range of constructive activities and strategies in various increments of time that may be different from our usual modus operandi. 

Here's an example from my ongoing experimentation with the active laboratory I call my daily life. Sometimes, I'm in my office and unable to take a break that is longer than five minutes.  Perhaps my boss just came by and informed me that my presentation that she requested is not quite up to her standards. Nailed!  Oh, and my next client is in the waiting room. An unproductive rant begins in my head that has something to do with mildly wounded ego coupled with a "badditude." The thread begins, and I really do not have the luxury to travel with it. So, in order to flip the switch on my brain, I direct my attention to something in the room. My recent favorite is a robustly growing plant on my windowsill. "When's the last time you watered that?" I ask myself. Sometimes I get up and stick my finger in the dirt to gauge the moisture level. I go simple, I consider the plants leaves, the colors, is it time for plant food? If the redirect is not immediately effective and I go back to my inner tantrum, I pick something else and get into it. I keep flipping the switch. As with all the skills, this is a gentle redirection and not a full assault. I am assisting myself to not go off the rails, by getting a break for a moment and redirecting my inner flow of traffic. 

Test Drive #1: Observe yourself on a road to nowhere with thoughts that pull in a downward trajectory, and/or a repetitive unproductive cycle of thoughts. Go a bit brain dead, pick something in your environment and consider it. Observe it, maybe go over and touch it, generate some ideas about it.  Let a stream of consciousness flow regarding the object.  Another option may be to label and name all of the things in the room or immediate environment.  I have done this with a bookshelf, by standing in front of it and reciting all of the titles.  Notice how putting even a small amount of space between you and the identified thought process may qualitatively affect your reactions. 

Another way to flip the switch is with our bodies. Notice your posture when you are traveling a road of repetitive unproductive thoughts. Many times we curl or slump a bit, sending the brain a message of resignation and capitulation with the downward spiral. Even the corners of our mouths curl downward.

Test Drive #2: When you catch yourself in an undesirable thought train, stop, breathe, and notice your posture.  Uncurl!  Straighten your spine, lift your head high, spread your collarbones. Smile even if it is the last thing that you want to do. Your body does not differentiate between an authentic smile and a fabricated one. Send your brain messages of having it together and feeling good. 

Test Drive #3: It is often helpful to have a few different body movements that may be coupled with counting or a repetitive phrase when we are in need of immediate distraction from our thoughts and reactions.  Try taking a few deep breaths and standing tall, crown of the head reaching for the ceiling.  Tuck you chin into your chest, and slowly drop your arms and upper body down towards the floor and hang there suspended over your legs. Then slowly roll up to standing, one vertebra at a time and raise your hands above your head, stretching to the sky.  Repeat.

If you find it helpful, count as you move upwards and downwards, or repeat a calming phrase to yourself.  Try addressing yourself with your name.  I like to couple this movement with the statement:  "Frances, you are calm,  Frances, you are relaxed.  Everything will be OK."  And yes, my name is Frances, so this is not as crackers as it initially sounds!  I do admit to doing this in my office and hoping that no one is skulking outside my window, observing my calisthenics coupled with self-talk.  Hey, whatever it takes, I gave up on looking "cool" a long time ago! 

Test Drive #4:  Another method of distraction involves engaging the mind with the body to actively invite release of your present thoughts and emotions. Stand up and extend your arms in front of you, waist high, palms turned up, fingers spread wide.  The idea is to create a stance of receptive and willing release.  If you are experiencing an anxious thought pattern, stretch your arms towards the opposite wall and say "I release this anxiety and invite it to exit from my body."  Imagine the target thoughts and emotions gently exiting your body through your fingertips.  Feel and imagine the energy leaving your body by invitation.  To end this exercise, shake your hands vigorously as a reset. 

These test drives are just a few examples of skills that you may experiment with and assess which, if any, work for you to provide a sense of temporary constructive distraction.  You may customize your options of healthy distracting activities as part of your twenty-first century coping toolkit.  There are several creative ways to formulate your own mix-tape of creative coping, and these skills may serve as a point of entry, the beginning of an individual journey of self-care and self-compassion. 

Longer term distraction may be an adaptive coping skill when dealing with life stressors. It is important to consider the correct "dosage" of distraction activities, and more is not necessarily better. I don't recommend serial binge-watching, but everything in moderation. Read, watch a film or television show, dance, sing, exercise, daydream!  Endlessly ruminating about our problems just wears us down. Give yourself a break and build various distractions into your repertoire of ways to get through and keep moving!