Chapter 5: Sexual? Frustration

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-----------This chapter is in Gage's POV(Point of view). Enjoii----------

                                                                                                                                                        

Levi. Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi. The same name kept running through my head, over and over. Why can't I just forget about him? It's not like we wer-okay, that's a lie we were close. What was I supposed to do though? What was I supposed to say? I'm not.....i'm not gay. Admittedly, I've never had a girlfriend, but I haven't had a boyfriend either.

Sighing, I roll around on my bed, trying to figure out what to do. Today at school, Levi looked like an absolute mess! He tried to hide it, but his eye was all shades of purple, and his body looked sagged and tired. I tried talking to him, worried sick for reasons beyond me, but talking to Levi is impossible for some reason. He glares and ignores you until you go away.

Maybe that's it! I won't go away. Just like he followed me all these years, I'm not going to give up on him. I know the real Levi is in there somewhere, and I am going to drag him out by his hair if I have to. But he has such soft brown hai-Shut up! No he doesn't! Well, he does. That doesn't matter! Ugh. 

Tap Tap Tap. Someone is knocking at my door. Man, I really do not want to talk to anyone right now. 

"Whaaaaaaat?" I moan, sitting up and leaning on my elbows. The door opens to reveal my step-mother, with a flirtatious look on her face. Gross, man.

"Hey sweetie. I made you a snack! You're probably starving. It's really...yummy." She says the last word slowly, reaching up and dragging her finger across her bottom lip.

Shivering with disgust, I reply carefully. She interprets every word I say to be sexual. 

"Great. Please leave." She smiles, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder.

How was that sexual?!

"Oh, I knew you were starving! You really want me to get it for you don't you? I'll be right back!" Her tone is sickeningly sweet as she says this, practically skipping out of my room.

As soon as she's gone I hop up and shut the door, locking all the locks. That's right, locks, PLURAL. I had to get more so she wouldn't sneak into my room at night anymore. Don't even ask. 

Where's my dad, one might ask. He turns a blind eye. I love the guy, but all he sees is motherly affection. So frustrating.

Flopping back on my bed, I let out a huge sigh of relief. My friends think it's hilarious, except when she does it to them. If she was a MILF, they wouldn't mind. But the fact is, she's not a MILF. My step-mom Jen has wrinkles on her wrinkles, and too many freckles to count.

My dad loves her, though, so I'll deal. Plus I have Chloe. Chloe is my half-sister, and I love her to death. At least Jen produces decent offspring. 

Suddenly she is banging on my door, telling me that she has her 'goodies' ready for me. Swallowing the bile, I ignore her.

My mind wanders back to Levi, as usual. I still can't forgive myself for what I said to him. The worst part is that i've come to realise that not even half of that was true. I don't know what I feel, why I miss having him by my side so much. I forgave Emmet, he was just trying to force me into feelings I don't have. I think. No! I don't. Nope. Not even a little. *twitch*

Anyway. That whole debacle was Emmet and his stupid plan to make me 'jealous'. Right. Jealous. As if. It's not like I doubt that Levi loves me or anything, it's just....I highly doubt that I love him. 

I mean, I don't do half the stuff that Levi does! I don't watch him in class when he isn't looking, I don't think about him all the time, I don't lust after him or smile whenever he smiles. I don't worry about him too much, jump whenever our skin comes into contact, or........or.......yeah. I don't.....I don't do any of that stuff. 

"UGH!" I shout out, and flop off of my bed. Inner turmoil! I hate it! 

"Gage? What's the matter with you? Why are you being weird?" My dad's voice floats through the door, sounding annoyed. I glare at the door.

"I could have been hurt, you jerks." I hear my dad huff and walk away. Good to know you care so much, daddy dearest. Nah, I know he loves all of this hot mess right here.

Sitting up, I look into my floor length mirror and wink Dayum. I'd tap that! WAIT! I'm not gay. Or...is there a sexuality when you're in love with yourself? Eh. I'm not that either.

BANG BANG BANG! Someone is banging on my door again. 

"Gage, sweetie, open the door! Jenny has sweets for you! Don't you want some of Jenny's sweets?" Aw gross! 

"No! I don't want any of Jenny's sweets! Leave me alone, I'm changing!" I lie, then freeze at my choice of words. Oh crap. Suddenly there is vicious banging on the door, and I back up to the wall in fright.

"Then you should really let me in! I can help you change! Let Jenny in!" Oh dear God. I would bar that door if I could. The banging continues on for another few minutes, then it stops. Whew. How is my dad even attracted to her? Maybe it's her personali-NAH! I think, chuckling. No way. I feel like her head is going to break through the door, while she says, "Heeeeere's Jenny!" Ewugh. And I think she is on her Menopause or something like that. She has been excessively vicious in her advances lately. Yay for me. 

 Cringing, I walk over to my nightstand, and rifle through the junk till I get to the bottom. Lying there, is a single picture of Levi and I.

Levi is smiling, and I am pretending look uninterested. My friend took this picture of us, saying it was in just the right light and that we looked like a couple. Levi nearly died at this, and demanded we have the picture taken. I secretly wanted the picture, so I agreed.

That's why he looks so happy. That sparkle in his deep brown eyes. I am going to get that sparkle back, whatever it takes. Ha, I'm bringing sparkle back! No? No. I ruined the moment. 

----------Little insight to what goes on in Gage's handsome head^_^ Comment<3----------

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