Meeting The Ghost of You

Page 1: Wind

Page 1: Wind

I don’t remember dying, but I do remember arriving back to reality. I remember finding myself in a plain room, a room lacking color and detail. I could only be in one place, I could only be in a hospital. I remember feeling numb. I should be happy! I survived Sword Art Online! I am free to live the rest of my life! The thing is, I can’t feel happy. I can’t feel hopeful or appreciative. I can’t feel anything because SHE died. My best friend, my partner, my girlfriend, my fiancé.  

“How do you feel?” one beaming, cheery nurse asks. I contemplate whether I should answer or not.

“I feel...” how do you explain to someone that you feel as though your heart has been ripped out, and that you are forced to watch it struggle to beat? “I feel like I’m dead.” This is clearly not the answer the nurse was expecting. Her lips purse into an round o shape, and she hurries out of the room. That’s right, leave. I’m not worth anyone’s time. After all, I am like a zombie. I appear to be alive, but I’m truly dead.  

Months have passed, months of endless trips to a grief therapist. I have to talk to a grumpy old man, at least once a week, doctor’s orders. Who would want to talk to a wrinkly and shriveled therapist like Ayaka-san? He is like the incarnate of agitation. He is impatient and gets irritated easily. It is almost as if all I have to do is breathe the wrong way and he launches into some rant.

“Kenji-kun, are you listening?” a gravely voice asks, bring me back into Ayaka’s stuffy office. As his frowns deepen, so do his wrinkles. For some reason I find this amusing, so I chuckle. 

“Oh you find this funny?” Ayaka asks, his furry eyebrows pointing down at such a steep angle that they almost join together. “Your LIFE isn’t a GAME! You’re twenty-three, you have your whole life ahead of you!” I merely roll my eyes. That statement is extremely cliché. I rise off of the lumpy sofa, and make a break for the door. “Kenji-kun! Your session isn’t over yet! Ken-” his voice is cut off as I slam the door closed. What does he know? I highly doubt that old fart has loved anyone but himself.  

I walk, unseen amongst throngs of people. In Tokyo, you can become lost, hidden despite being directly in front of someone. I weave around people, unsure of where I am going. All the city noises, all the talking, the sirens, and flashing lights seem to fade away as I get lost in my own footsteps. Left, then right, left then right. It’s amazing what left and right can do together. After watching my own feet for around ten minutes, I look up. That’s when I see IT, the ad for Phantom Secrets Online.  Phantom Secrets Online... Why does it sound familiar? I struggle to recall why it seems familiar as I slowly change direction, and bring myself closer to my apartment. Could it be... Could it be the game I foolishly agreed to beta test? Beta testing... That’s how I met her, the love of my life. It’s too bad that I couldn’t meet her again... After all, we all know that once you die, you never come back alive. 

Before I know it, I’m at my apartment, shrugging off my wool coat and approaching my bedroom. Sure enough, Phantom Secrets Online is lying on my nightstand, along with all the equipment I need to play it. I let myself fall forward, resulting in myself landing on my bed with a muffled thud. When should I play Phantom Secrets Online? Surely the sooner would be the better... With a loud sigh, I soon find myself saying, “Link Start” with little to no enthusiasm. 

I find myself lost within darkness. What the heck!?! This is nothing like the first time I played it, the time I played it at the same time with all the beta testers... I spin around, desperate to find some sort of light when my eyes spot a speck. The speck is tiny, and appears to be far off in the distance. Should I move towards it? What if it is a trap? What if it is one of those evil phantoms that try to kill you within the first few minutes of the game? Oh, I’m SO not going to fall for its trap. “Ha!” I yell towards the light, “What do you think I am, stupid?”  After my outburst, the light blinks, and changes shape, or reveals itself for what it truly is. It is a fragment, a glowing fragment, a colorful fragment that is similar to that of those found when your character dies in a VRMMO. Did someone get killed here recently? Did an unlucky player before me die? IDIOT! THIS ISN’T SWORD ART ONLINE, IF YOUR CHARACTER DIES YOU DON’T REALLY DIE, YOU JUST START OVER! Damn Sword Art Online... I may have “escaped” but I will always be tormented the memories I gained from that game.