Rose Tinted (boyxboy)

Chapter 20: Head and heart

"I cannot go from one prison to another."

☆

The unwelcome morning alarm sounds and both Max and Tayce harmoniously groan.

Tayce seems to wake like a switch being turned on and instantly sits up in the bed. As he looks down at Max, that kiss fills his thoughts. Should he say something?

Max finally opens his eyes as the persistent bed wobbling becomes too hard to ignore. He looks up at Tayce who is staring down at him. Tayce's face not the usual cheery expression.

"Sup?" He mumbles.

"You kissed me." Tayce says directly as he maintains eye contact with Max.

"What?" Max says half laughing. Yes he did kiss him but shit, Tayce wasn't supposed to know about it."

"I said you kissed me. Don't deny it." Tayce isn't letting up and for the first time between them, their roles seem to shift, with Tayce being mr direct and Max being the giggling mess.

"Maybe you imagined it?" Max screws his eyes closed as soon as the sentence leaves his lips. That was the lamest excuse ever!"

"I'm not stupid Max." Tayce doesn't seem to be letting this go and Max feels like he can't hang on to the truth, which is wanting to spill from his mouth.

He now pulls his body up to rest against the headboard. "I know you're not stupid." He sighs.

Tayce turns to face Max a little more. "Don't you think I've had enough lies fed to me over the past year? Please, just tell me... why did you kiss me?"

Max looks down at the fleece covering the bed. He knew it was the least he could do, to be honest with the guy, after all he had been through.

"Look, I don't want to make this all about me, but when we were talking about love and relationships yesterday, I realised that I may see you as more that just the excitable guy at work. It doesn't happen to me often. Never actually... well, not since Jinah."

Tayce now looks at Max, not knowing exactly what to say. Max can sense the awkwardness and looks up at Tayce. "It's ok Tayce. I know you still love the other guy. I know it's bad timing and I don't date work colleagues, remember?"

Max turns his back to Tayce as he goes to swing his legs out of the bed, but is stopped by a sudden feel of a hand on his shoulder. Max stills at the touch.

"Just wait a minute." Tayce pulls his hand back as Max stays put, he looks a little over his shoulder. "Can you do it again...kiss me I mean?"

Max now turns a little more to sit back on the bed. "I really don't think it's a good idea. You're not in a good place right now." Max now looks at Tayce. His face looks surprisingly disappointed. "Look, what I mean is that you need time to deal with this situation you're in. You don't want to do anything you may regret, anything on the rebound. You need to put yourself first for once."

"I hate you." Tayce says with sarcastic scowl.

"Thanks." Max chuckles.

Tayce watches as Max heads out of the bedroom door. He didn't really hate Max. He just hated the fact that he was right. He should take time to deal with the whole situation, to get to know himself once again.

As Max closes the bathroom door behind him he takes a slow breath out. He felt conflicted. His mind telling him to do the correct thing. This really wasn't the right time for pursuing anything. Tayce needed a friend right now, nothing more. But just then, when he was given a chance to kiss him again, he wished in some way he had taken it. That's what his heart wanted.

***

"Are you ready?" Max shouts over the noise of the motorbike, with Tayce still fiddling with the clasp. He nods and eventually gets on the bike, heading for Bang Bang chicken.

Since the initial awkwardness of their first conversation that morning, both Max and Tayce had avoided the subject, with Max talking more about getting Tayce to work safely and getting some of his things from his house.

It felt nice for Tayce to once again let his mind empty, along with the speed of the bike as it weaved its way through the morning traffic.

As they pull along the front of the fast food joint, Tayce dismounts, handing back the helmet as Max switches off the engine. "Jojo's gonna take you back to mine later ok?" Max says, like a concerned father.

"Didn't you say that I shouldn't let Frank ruin my life?" Tayce questions. "I can find my own way back."

"I know...but not yet." Max says, now looking concerned.

"You need to let me breathe Max." Tayce replies. "I cannot go from one prison to another."

Max doesn't know how to respond. Being lumped in the same category in any way, shape or form with Frank did not sit well with him.

"I just..." Max dismounts the bike, now removing his own helmet. He looks Tayce in the eyes. Tayce is shocked at the sadness washing over Max's expression. "I just don't want to see you like I did at your place...I thought you were dead."

"I'm sorry." Tayce replies, as if it was autopilot.

"Shit...not this again, stop saying sorry." Max places a hand on Tayce's shoulder, causing Tayce to smile, before embarrassingly looking down at his boots.

"Sorry for saying sorry all the time." He laughs.

Max removes his hand, shuffling on his feel a little. "Look, until you get a new phone, I just think it would be better for you to be with someone. I'm not trying to control you I promise."

"Ok." Tayce smiles, before waving a tiny wave as he watched Max get back on his bike and ride off, only turning when he couldn't see him anymore.

As Tayce looks up to the glass frontage of the store, he sees Jerry looking at him through the glass, mouth slightly open, an unreadable look on his face. Jerry turns the key to let Tayce in. "Morning stranger." Tayce jokes as he sees Jerry with that look still spread across his face. "What's with that look?" Tayce finally asks, with not a single word yet to leave Jerry's lips.

"What the hell did I just witness?" Jerry replies.