I know you ain't care 'cause you always gone How could you make me spend my whole fucking pregnancy alone?
♥︎𝙰𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚁𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚢𝚇𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚒𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚒♥︎
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+Jordan+
"Jah I don't care, We're two different people living in two different worlds" I explained, handing him Onyx.
I told him over and over again I don't want any connections with Rakim...nothing. He hasn't done anything for me or our child before he went to prison so what makes you think now that he's out, I want anything to do with him.
Jahseh sighed, "All I'm saying is that you can't keep Onyx from his father, he's gonna hold it against you when he gets older".
Maybe he doesn't understand that I know that but yet he doesn't know how everything went down.
December 14th, 2019 2 years ago...
I woke up immediately out of my sleep, feeling nauseous...again.
I rushed to the bathroom, well as fast as I could. Carrying a baby was the hardest thing I've done & I had 4 more months, you killin me.
I got down on my knees started to throw up, I was alone that night too so Rakim couldn't help me.
I got my phone starting to call Jahseh but I didn't have it on me.
So I sat there....
Waited but, nothing....Rakim didn't even come home that night.
Not like it was something new.
I spent my whole fucking pregnancy alone.
If he wasn't out at a club he always had some excuse to not be home. His favorite one was "I'm just enjoying the last of my freedom"
But fast forward to about 10 months later my baby was about to be 5 months, Rakim got locked up for burglary, and I was living with Jahseh. I was lucky enough that he was the nice one.
I hadn't seen nor spoke to Rakim after the baby was born, he basically disappeared on me, and that was okay, I needed to focus & he was my distraction.
The last time I had seen Rakim was the night I was released from the hospital, a couple hours later he would be on the news getting arrested by the feds.
