boobs not boys

10

4 months before: valentine's day 

The rest of the day felt as though an extra hour, minute, second was added as a punishment for every time I thought about her. Feeling our clammy hands gripping together not wanting to be apart, see her blowing cigarette smoke towards the open sky, lowercase handwriting scrawled onto the note. I peeled it open again, confirming it was not an illusion. None of the letters on the paper touched, and she has scribbled in the top right corner of the crumpled paper to get the pen to work.

She had to pinch herself.

Please don't let me wake up from this dream

10pm(ish)

My hands trembled with anticipation as I trekked up the hill, the full moon hanging in the sky illuminating the pathway I walked. Worn down, overused, and the closer you look the more cracks in the concrete appear. Ants forming colonies in the grey canyons.

Bracelets jingled as I wrapped my coat tighter around my body, trying to conceal myself from the elements. My breath formed in clear clouds, leaving a trail of mist as I reached the peak. I was burning inside.

My eyes peeked up from under my hood as I approached the top of the park hill.

There she was.

 Her aura was incandescent in comparison the milky luminescent moon, or the streetlight that consumed her in a warm spotlight, or the flame that was aglow between her chapped lips.

She turned when she heard footsteps approaching, smoke trailed off of her cigarette.

Our love flashed before me like a mirage in a lonely desert. The peach fuzz on her knee. Warm limbs entangled in an embrace. Her hands fumbling to tie a distressed shoe lace. Hair fluttering in the breeze as she straddled me, winning the picnic wrestle, rolling fields painting the landscape surrounding them. Our mouths melting together, the taste of tobacco and strawberry bubblegum. Memories spinning before me like a rolodex.

Please don't let this become a nightmare.

"I thought you weren't going to turn up," I sighed in relief, looking to the angel as she shined on the bench. I wished I could freeze time and absorb this moment, over and over till infinitude.

She masked a blank expression from behind the safety of her lit cigarette, her words floating into the frosty air when she finally broke the silence. "I  was going to say the same thing."