boobs not boys

9

6 months before: the party

Smoking.

I crept up into her arms, clammy, panting, heart and mind racing. We lay there in silence; listening to the subtle hum of the alarm clock that rested beside us, and the scratching of my nails against her thigh. The ruckus of the crowd downstairs had began to disperence. We bathed in the carnel red light of the lamp together, entrapped by tangled sheets. Sticky. Ecstatic.

My head twisted to gaze out the window, the horizon aglow with dazzling blinking lights. The nocturnal life of the city was alive like fireflies. Every light possessing their own lies, fantasies, human interactions, heartache, ecstasy.

I heard the click of a lighter and turned my head back, Bethany's face was fiery from a flaming cherry tip. I stared at her, illuminated in the sunset glow as she sucked her cigarette between her cupid's bow lips; firing an arrow and piercing me in between my rib cage. Lodged in place. Infatuated.

Her bambi eyes flickered towards me, creasing up as a tender smile appeared on her face. She reached across and gently placed the cigarette between my lips, our eyes not breaking contact.

"You mean a lot to me," she finally mustered up once the cigarette touched her lips again. "I wouldn't want you following a path you can't can't control." Smoke seeped out of her mouth with each word. Her hands reached up and trailed across my still trembling body.

The room fell silent again briefly, as I watched her gentle caresses on my skin and contemplated a response.

I knew deep down what she was talking about. Tables of white powder flash before my eyes.

"I won't. I promise."

She sat up and turned to me with an unreadable expression masking her face, cigarette hanging between her slender index and middle fingers. She was the epitome of angelic. There had been no being before her that had graced the earth with their phantasmic beauty; and there will not be one after.

"I really hope you're not lying to me."