"I need you. I need to feel you, to be inside of you." August's voice darkened. He swiftly lifted me over his lap. "Please." He leaned up and kissed me hungrily.
He kissed me like his life depended on it. I felt him grow even harder from underneath...
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I hurt him. I didn't....He didn't even look at me. I watched August walk down the hall. I wanted to go to him and tell him it wasn't like that. I just...
"You're back to being a slut?" I quickly shut my door so no one would hear Matt's loud voice. I stay facing the door as I try to calm my breath.
I'm strong.
He can't hurt me.
Nothing was helping. My body was just screaming at me to run. To get as far away from him as I can. Breathe. I kept telling myself.
I just need to find the anger inside of me and grab ahold of it. I need to find a strong emotion other than fear. That's the only way I can be strong. The only way I'm not weak.
"What are you doing here, Matt?" I masked my fear with anger, turning to face him. "I just wanted to talk to my daughter." I wanted to punch him.
He does not have the right to call me his daughter. I will never be his daughter.
"Don't ever fucking call me that." Anger ripped through my veins at a hundred miles per hour. "You have no fucking right to call me that." I pointed at him.
I am not that weak girl he once knew. I will not allow him to think that either. I am strong because I had to be to protect myself.
"Get the fuck out, Matt or I'll-" I was cut off when Matt grabbed my neck and slammed me against the door.
"You'll what? Call the security?" Grabbing his hand trying to pry it off my neck. "You are so fucking weak, London." He let go of me.
Matt only wanted to come here to show me that I didn't escape. That he is still in control.
He didn't say anything else before he left. I stood there frozen. I'm never going to get away from this hell. I'm never going to get away from my mother or Matt.
Walking into the bathroom. I look into the mirror and see the dark red marks on my neck. I didn't do anything to protect myself. I didn't fight back. Why didn't I fight back?
Because you're too weak and pathetic. I hiss in pain when I lightly dragged my finger tips over the red marks. I will never show him I'm scared again.
Not after that night.
I will never show him I am afraid and I will never beg.
Flash back 17 years old
My body crashed against the stone floor as the wooden baseball bat connected with my back. I screamed out in pain.
My screams echoed off the basement walls. "Beg!" Matt yelled as he swung the bat down again. I can't breathe. I need to breathe.
Get up. Get up!
I kept telling myself as my body laid on the cold stone. "Beg!" I've never wanted my mom as much as I do right now.
