My sister's crush

11

" hay Zack , what happened?" My sister said pointing at my red cheeks.

"N... nothing" I replied kind of shaken by what just happened.

" What do you mean by nothing,it looks like you had two of those super spicy Korean noodles" she said poking at my cheek.

"It was a bit hot in there ,okay , just forget it" I  irritatedly said

" Really? I remember feeling an air conditioner hit my back when I entered the room , also why didn't they let us go together?" She asked ,I just gave her a glance then returned back to the road not answering her .

The second I parked the car and locked it I was running to my room , I know I'm kind of exaggerating but ........hell no I'm not exaggerating, a man had just kissed me .

I know I had previously said that I was bisexual but still , I  hadn't kissed a guy ever , till now I guess.

The reason why I gave my self the bisexual title was because I felt like it suited me , I've always felt something towards males something that always felt similar to what I felt towards females , when I was in highschool I used to have a crush on both male and female mates which at first confused me a lot and caused me a lot of sleepless nights but eventually I learned more about the amazing community of the LGBTQ and imiditly found my self on that spectrum which just gave me comfort and made me happy.

But what always scared me was my parents, as much as I wanted to try and explore my sexuality more by dating men I couldn't because I was scared of my parents, they are so fucking homophobic and racist and the worst thing is that they are not afraid to show it. talking trash and making fun of people who are not like them and not trying to hide the disgusted look on there faces whenever a gay character appears.

It's really scary to live in such place where deep down you know you are not accepted and can never be .

But back to what happened with Axel, as much as it confused me as to why he did that my over thinking shitty brain just imiditly went into freak mood and was going all sorts of ways even to the point where I started thinking what if someone was recording us and would show my parents, yes I am that crazy . I was more afraid of my mother than my father thought, I know it's a rare occasion were you are afraid of your mother more than your father but that was my case.

Aside from my dad being sick and locked in he still would have forgotten about it in no time if he wasn't sick , dad is kind of careless to say the least,the type of parent to not go to your play at School or leave you alone in the park for hours just to answer a so called important phone call.

But my mom ...........oh hell that's a whole other story, when you go according to mom's rules and beliefs and shit like that, that she had tried to plant in us since a young age , you will be perfectly fine , always have support, someone clapping for you in the crowds and someone who doesn't let you go out of there eyesight while playing around. But go against those rules and you are dead.

How do I know I will be dead then ? Well.......my mother has this wired annual event were she would seat us down and talk to us about all the things we shouldn't do or do, gay is a sin , those people are bad ,this is wrong ,they are trying to end us all and other shit like that ,that just come in from one ear and out of the other , and of course we have to add a sprinkle of racism and we also can't forget about completely and unknowingly shattering our dreams. Do you think drawing would earn you money ? Or ..... Writing is good and all but it's just a hobby go study and many many more like that , that leaves me broken and holding back tears in my room .

I know I've said I loved her before and she was like a hero but ............ I guess sometimes heroes can become villains.

In between all my thoughts that were killing and drowning me I received a text .

It was a ...... DM on Instagram and it was from the person that had been taking too much space in my mind for the past couple of hours.

' I heard about you quiting your morning job from your boss at the club, I've asked my manager to look for an available job for a friend and he said you could work as my bodyguard, come to the company at 7:30 tomorrow if you want the job '.

What is he saying?..... I expected an apology or something but didn't expect a job offer and why would he sit with my boss and talk about my personal matters.

I'm over thinking too much , right?

I mean he's talking as if nothing happened.

Is he gay ? Is that why he never fell in love with the girls that stan him ?

That would make sense.

Let's think about the job offer ,shall we .

Well...........I don't know , I do need another job but..........am going to be his bodyguard am I ready to be that close to him at all time? . Would this job effect on my late at night job later on ? Would they even accept me ? Is my body built well enough?

Too much over thinking......gush I hate my mind ......why are you thinking too much about it , nothing happened. No, a lot happened. It was just a kiss. Yeah but what if someone saw us what .....what if .

This is tiering. Am sick of this , I need some sleep .

I hate my self and am pretty sure at least one person who reads this story hates me but am sorry, tbh I kinda forgot about it but luckily I had some chapters ready so I didn't have to burden my self with writing now . Sorry If you still have this in your reading list and got the message of me just posting this , I know it's been a fat sec 😅💜