Chapter Twenty-Six

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I hear the raised voices before my hand even touches the handle

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I hear the raised voices before my hand even touches the handle. Alice's shrill yell against the grit of my dad's bellow. I exhale, pausing before walking in. I'd left Owen's hiding place in a daze. The anger I felt was now ringing hollow. It felt like an anchor weighing me down. I didn't want to let go of it. I wasn't even sure if I could, but I couldn't deny that for every step I took away from him, I just wanted to run back. I'd lied, mainly to myself, when I said I was through. I'd found Owen, but that wasn't enough. It never had been. I needed to know that whatever happened, he'd be safe. And with every mechanical beat of my heart, I knew my time was slipping through my fingers like sand. I didn't want to die, but if I had to, I needed to know he'd be OK. And right now, he was anything but.

Feeling heavy, I walk into my house. The yells grow in volume. The whole house feels like it's shaking with it.

"If you knew, why haven't you done anything? It was a threat! A threat!"

"It's a part of the investigation. I know this is hard, but you need to let me do my job."

They're talking about Damien. And for a moment I freeze, trying to absorb their words, but then I shake my head. Lying to myself that I didn't need to be a part of this anymore. With feet that feel melded to the floor, I try to ignore the argument and head to the staircase, but heavy stomps into the room make me flinch and I pause on the first step.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Dad doesn't look mad, he looks enraged. Blood is creeping up his neck, his eyes flicker with fire. Behind him, Mum, Alice and Detective Harrison stroll into the reception room. All looking flushed and tense from whatever they'd been rowing about.

"I went for a walk..."

"Don't give me any more of your lies, young lady. That damn book is still in your room, and nobody goes for a walk at five in the morning. I know you've been sneaking out. I'll ask again, and this time I expect the truth." Something snaps as I stare at him, as I see the conflicted expressions of my family behind him. At Detective Harrison's wide-eyed expression.

"You want to ask me about lies? You. Of all people!" The room falls still. And I realise it's with shock from my outburst, not my words. I wonder if every single one of us knows that we have been living on the perfect surface of a lake, fighting to stay above the murky depths beneath. My voice sounds raw, my head is spinning.

"Calla don't..." Alice whispers, folding her arms anxiously across her chest.

Dad steps forward, his furious face etched in enough shadows that I feel a flicker of fear. His body so tense that Harrison steps forward, his eyes shooting between his boss and his boss's daughter.

"Explain yourself. Now."

All eyes are on me, and everyone is holding their breath. I'm clinging to the bannister, feeling like everything is dropping away from me. All the rules I've lived by, the structures that have built up my life, all feel like they're crumbling under the weight of so many untruths. Mine included.

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