𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

Why don't you talk to me?
Like you use to...
-Montell Fish

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

February 2013,

Living with Tanner wasn't as nice as I had thought.

He played video games all day, and he never cleaned the bathroom. His roommates smoked a lot of weed. They taught me how to pack a blunt and I taught them how to mop the floor. We spent more time in Tanner's bedroom than anywhere else.

That started to get old.

"Can we go out for breakfast in the morning?" I asked. "I don't have school."

"You got the money for that?"

I shook my head. I didn't have a job; I was in school. I thought he would have money for that, but he said he spent it on rent. I think he meant to say he spent it on weed.

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

I sleep over at Dalton's three nights in a row. There I am, tangled up with Dalton in his little twin bed. His head is on my shoulder; he's snoring, softly.

Outside, the weather has turned colder. The leaves are changing colors. Halloween decorations, ghosts and pumpkins, are springing up on every front porch. All the sure signs that Autumn is well on its way. Except inside Dalton's dorm, we are still swimming in Mississippi heat.

My cotton pajamas are clinging to my skin. Dalton's forehead is damp—his whole body is damp with sweat. I can't sleep, not in this heat. I peel his body off from mine and crawl out of bed.

I snag a glass from his desk and quietly close the door behind me in search of some water. Instead, I find Tenny. He's sat on the floor under the soft glow of the hall light, knees pulled to his chest, a book in his hands. I sit down, across from him on the ground.

When he picks his head up from his book, he looks surprised to see me.

"What are you doing up?" I ask.

He wags the book. "Bailey's a light sleeper—the light keeps him up."

I nod, trace my finger around the rim of my empty glass. "He seems like a good kid, Bailey. You got lucky with him as a roommate."

"Yeah," he says. "I guess you did, too...with Frankie?"

I laugh. "You could say that."

He rests his head on the wall behind him, stretches out one leg. He's wearing a thin t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His eyelids are heavy, but only because he seems tired. "She slipped me her number last week," he says.

"Who Frankie?"

"Yeah." He laughs; it makes my heart swell. "She, uh, snuck it into my book on the way out of class, one day." Frankie never told me that. She never even told me they had a class together, but I guess why would she? Frankie doesn't think I know Tenny. She doesn't know that he's my Tenny.

"Are you going to call her?"

He laughs again, softly, shakes his head. "No, I don't think Bailey would like that."

I sigh. "I told her he would fall in love with her. She means well, Frankie, but everything is a joke to her. She thinks Bailey understands that."

"He does," Tenny says. He stares at the book in his hands. "But sometimes, that doesn't matter. Sometimes you fall in love with someone even when you know you shouldn't. Even when you know they won't love you back."

We aren't talking about Bailey anymore. Tenny is talking about us.

I open my mouth to say something, but then Dalton's door creaks open. He pops his head out, golden hair all messy and wild. He squints his eyes, speaks with a gravely voice. "What are you doing out here, babe?" he asks. "Come back to bed."

I look back to Tenny. He gives me a little nod of his chin, goes back to reading his book. I climb off the floor, let Dalton snake his arm around my waist and lead me back to bed. He looks down at me in the dark room, and asks again, "What were you doing out there?"

"Getting water."

We nestle under the covers. He puts his head back on my shoulder, nuzzles into my neck. "What were you all talking about?"

"Frankie, mostly," I say, but I don't think Dalton hears me. His breaths are long and lazy, his eyes are closed. In a few minutes, he will be snoring softly, and I will be sweating, staring at the ceiling, wondering why I couldn't love Tenny back.

Why couldn't I have just loved him back?

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

July 2013,

Me and Tanner got into a big fight.

I went through his phone. He had a lot of pictures from girls I'd never met. When I asked him about it, he said that I nagged too much. He said I was too childish. I reminded him he once said I was mature for my age. He said he didn't remember that.

"You should go back home," he told me.

"Home? But this is my home."

"No, it ain't," he said. "Your Mom probably worried about you."

I didn't argue with him, just packed my stuff into a backpack and stormed out of that apartment. I didn't want to be some place I wasn't wanted. Gabby said I could crash at her place for a while.

After two days, her mom said it was time to go home.

And because there was nowhere else to go, I did.

...

Author's Note:

Another chapter!
Thanks for reading.

Make sure to leave your thoughts in the comments and please vote if you're enjoying the story!
Xx