Vulnerable

~𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻~

𝚃𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚓𝚒 𝙿 𝙷𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚘𝚗

♥︎

"God, please tell me I didn't do what I think I did...", I heard Fantasia say.

I rolled over and rubbed my eyes before opening them to look at Fantasia. "What happened?", I questioned.

Fantasia got up and wrapped the blanket around her body. "I don't even wanna talk about it, I'm so stupid", she whined.

I scrunched my face and looked at her confused. "Girl, what are you talking about right now?", I asked and sat up on the bed.

"Look!!", she dropped the blanket.

"Okay? I seen you naked before...", I laughed.

"Taraji, you can't be serious. We are both naked and we were in the same bed", she said sternly. She paced the room and mumbled something.

"You're scaring me...", I watched her as she paced.

"T, we had sex. Last night, we got drunk and you were saying and doing things that made me feel a certain way. I eventually let my guard down and we ended up having sex", Fantasia explained.

I saw her serious expression and don't remember anything that happened. It's possible she's telling the truth, as I have a tendency to forget things when I drink too much. "I'm sorry...", I said.

"What the fu- what was I thinking...", Fantasia spoke to herself.

"It's okay, it won't happen again", I told her.

"I don't know why, but I actually enjoyed the whole thing. I'm not sure how I should be feeling right now", she complained, massaging her head in frustration.

I left the bed and went to her, doing my best to comfort her. "Maybe it was just the new experience for you, and you weren't even fully present", I reassured her.

"No, Taraji... it's you", She gazed at me.

"What do you mean it's me?", I questioned. I walked back to the bed to sit down because my head started hurting a little.

"Why won't you just be honest with me?", Fantasia asked me. "I thought you were too drunk to understand what you said that's why I said it would never happen, but now I realize you were being honest", Fantasia said.

"Because I was scared that expressing my feelings might ruin our friendship. I was afraid you would see me differently, be mad, or upset for loving you. I tried to ignore my feelings but they always resurfaced. Now, with everything going on mentally, you are the only thing keeping me going," I confessed tearfully.

Fantasia just turned away from me and faced the wall. "I will always love you, T, no matter how you feel. But, I am feeling confused and unsure after what happened last night. It made me feel amazing at the time, but now I'm second-guessing myself", She said.

"It's okay, we can forget everything. Just remember how I truly feel," I said before getting up to go to the bathroom. I turned around before entering the bathroom fully. "I won't make anything weird, it will be the same as always... don't overthink it", I told her.

She nodded and walked out of the room.

I was thinking in the shower about what happened and I can't believe I had sex with Fantasia. It doesn't feel real to me. I love her and wish she felt the same, but I'm used to keeping my emotions locked up, except when I'm drunk obviously.

I dressed after showering and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. Since Fantasia was not there, I figured she must be in the living room. I decided to clear my mind and move on from the situation because dwelling on it would only make me feel things I shouldn't.

"Fantasia!", I called out.

"I'm in the living room", I heard her respond. I walked into the living room and she was sitting down watching TV. I sat next to her and laid my head on her shoulder.

"What are you watching?", I asked.

"Just scanning through channels right now", she said. I looked at her and shook my head. "What?", she asked.

"You know you can just watch Netflix or Hulu..", I said with a little chuckle.

"I know. I miss watching regular television", she said. She looked at me and then looked back at the TV. "I love you", she added.

I squinted my eyes at her. "I love you too", I replied.

I got up off the couch checked my phone and went through a few emails. I have an interview tomorrow morning. I already know they just want to ask me a whole bunch of questions getting in my damn business like always.

I set an alarm for tomorrow, so I can be on time. I already know what I'm going to wear so I'm gonna have to go and get my hair done later.

Okay so I know you guys are tired of waiting on me with this slow publishing. But I haven't been motivated & I've been having writers block.. bear with me.