(This is a vent chapter disguised as a Sad Johnnie Story)
Summary: Johnnie is in his feels and he thinks about some things
Tw:
Dissociation
Loneliness
Mention of- Sh
Over all just sad.Johnnies Pov:
I'm sat on my bed, feet on the floor.
I'm just sat.
Looking at the floor.
Looking at how it's detailed.
I blink, my eyes stinging.
I must've been staring for a while.
My head keeps replaying that night.
The night I hit him.
My step dad.
(Flash back)
16 years old.
He was drunk.
We were yelling.
He was in my face.
He wouldn't move away.
I begged him to get out of my face.
It was dumb of me to do, but I spat in his face in attempt to get him to move.
He did for a second.
Before spitting back in my face.
Anger filled my body.
It took over.
I started to punch him in the head.
Over and over.
He fell to the ground and mom finally intervened pushing me to my room and helping my step dad up.
I wiped the spit from my face.
Having a panic attack, I was disgusted with his spit in my face considering
1. its spit
2. My step dad dipped so his spit was basically just gross tobacco.
3. He's a grown adult spitting back at a 16 year old boy.(I'm literally disgusted while writing this sorry)
(End of flashback)
I shake my head disgusted with myself.
I get up shaking my hands trying to stim off all the nasty.
Maybe it's just a Adhd thing I don't know.
I look at my shelf.
I had a knife stuck into it.
That's the same knife I used that night to hurt myself.
I remember feeling nothing while doing it.
That's not even being dramatic.
I was having a panic attack while doing it and I didn't even feel it.
My body was all hot, I was sweating, scared.
I look at my wrists, they are healed.
It's been a 10 years and a month since that happened.
Yet for some reason I often think of what happend.
I wish my step dad wasnt a drunkie.
I wonder sometimes what life would have been like if he didn't drink.
If we would have been happy.
It's a shame.
No teenager should feel the way I did.
Writing to distract himself from what's going on.
"Johnnie!!!" I hear my name being called.
But it's worth in now.
I live with my best friend Jake who I plan to tell I like him in a few days.
He makes me happy.
And that's all I could ever ask for.
"Coming!" I shout back leaving my room with a slight smile on my face.
461 words.
So ovi I'm not 26, I'm 16 I just wanted to some how vent but also make it into a book for you to enjoy.
The vent is basically everything except the living with best friend thing, clearly I can't do that cause I'm 16💀👍
Lmao I'm sorry for this
-Kall
YOU ARE READING
Jake Webber X Johnnie Guilbert Smut And Fluff
Fanfictionim a ok writer.. Smut and Fluff!!!! Please no hate or I'll just block you sorry