You Make It Easy

Emotional.

Maya~

"Dad will be home soon," I say quietly after feeding Amalia.

I leave her on my chest. My mom knocks on the door, "Yeah?"

"Just checking in. Do you need anything from us?" she asks as her and Alecia stand at the end of our bed.

"No, I'm okay right now."

"Okay, Christian just texted me and said he's on his way back now," Alecia says.

"Okay, thank you."

"Of course."

My mom turns off the overhead light, leaving only the lamp on. I think I'm getting the hang of this with it only being a few days. Christian went back to baseball today so it's been a bit hard because I don't like asking for help unless it's Christian.

I move my blanket around us. I continue to watch her sleep. I'm sure my heart grew 100 times more after she was born. My entire world is lying on my chest. Nothing else matters when I'm in this position.

Soon enough, I hear Christian talking in the living room. He comes into our room, with yet another bouquet. "We don't have enough vases for you to keep bringing flowers home each night," I say.

He shrugs, "I'll make it work."

He sets the flowers on the foot of the bed before coming over. He kisses me, "How was today?"

"Pretty good. Our moms had her for a couple of hours so I could shower. We laid here for a while and watched movies."

"Did you get some sleep?"

"Yeah, but I like watching her and that gets in the way of my sleep."

"She is pretty content."

She wraps her tiny hand around his finger, "I can stay up so you can get some sleep," he tells me.

"Don't you have an early game tomorrow?"

"I can function on a few less hours of sleep."

He could, but should he? If he's offering, I won't stop him. I stand up with her and he meets me around the bed. I go into the bathroom and splash my face with water.

I am not feeling great today, physically or mentally. I'm sure it's my exhaustion catching up with me. I'm able to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I go back to our room, he has most of the lights off. I change into a different pair of shorts.

I turn my fan on since I've been getting very hot at night after she feeds or when I'm pumping. I look around my nightstand and baby cart trying to find all of the parts for my breast pump.

When I do, I take it to the kitchen so I can clean it. "Honey, I can do that," my mom says.

"It's fine. I got it."

"Maya. Go lay down and sleep. You had a baby four days ago. It's okay. I can do this."

I hate asking for help because I know I can do such a simple task. I put the bottles in the water basin and let her do it. "You can't just take care of Amalia, you have to take care of yourself too. I know you don't like asking for help but we're all trying to reduce any stress or anxiety you might feel over the next few weeks. Let us help where we can."

I nod silently, "Thank you."

She kisses my cheek, "Anything for my baby. I'll bring these back to you. Go lay down."

I go back to our room where he's getting our daughter laid in her bassinet. We stand over her bassinet, watching her sleep. She's so tiny and so perfect. I can't get over how perfect she is.