The Unploughed: Ahalya

1| Ahalya

I do not know why I was born.

They say, Lord Brahma had created me to humble the apsara Urvashi. I had met her once, and I consider myself fortunate for it. Not a speck of overblown pride adorns her necklace. She is self-realised, aware of her worth. Maybe that had instilled fear in certain gods, and they lured Brahma, the man who once lusted for his daughter, to create me.

It pricks that I was created only to diminish the glory of a woman. My own birth is against the race I belong to.

I am born with beauty and brain. I know how to apply kohl in a way best in alluring man, and also know the Vedas. There are many women like me, each knowledgeable in their own arena, but the world finds ways to pitch us against each other. Even though the Devas love to flatter me as the pure lady who showed Urvashi her place, I keep a friendship with her in secret.

There's one man though who knows of this bond.

Leaving the abode of my foster father Gautama, I have come to visit Indraloka. Here, Urvashi is a skilled artist, performing for the elite Devas. I wait for her performance to end, admiring the rare flowers that blossom in the viridescent gardens of this heavenly realm.

From afar I can hear the applause and the cheers of the men. They must be bewitched by the dance of Urvashi. Even I was, when she had first shown me her graceful steps in this same garden. For a moment I was so moved that I wished to hold her in my arms like a young boy. But I laughed at the thought.

"My sakhi has arrived." Urvashi tapped my shoulder, pulling me out of my head. "How are you?"

"As always."

She purses her lips, her forehead crinkled. "Did he do anything inappropriate?"

"He hasn't." I heave a sigh. "Sometimes he tries to have a peek when I am sleeping, or worse, bathing. My mortal friends guard me if they suspect he is near."

"You have got a diabolical man as your father. I am still shocked that he is a Rishi."

"Our world is merciful. It allows great people who have abandoned their path to redeem. I hope he does one day–" I pause at the scrunching noise of feet pressing onto twigs. I crane my neck to see him approaching.

The only man who knows about this friendship.

"Mahendra." Urvashi joins her hand in a namaskara. My hands are frozen on the side. He doesn't mind my disrespectful manner.

"I see your friend has come. It's sad that she doesn't join us in the court."

"I don't think I will be of any value there." I can't look into his eyes. They are unlike any I have ever seen– so blue and starry, as if the sky were flowing through his veins. He is fair like the snow of Kailash, and his lips are prettier than mine. His beauty intimidates me.

He smiles at me. "You are well-versed in the scriptures. My Guru Brihaspati will be delighted to have a student like you."

It's not completely against the rules for women to be in court. No one has ever stopped them from being there, neither has anybody extended invitation.

"Excuse me, I must leave. It's time to train the new apsaras," Urvashi says, winking at me. I blush with a gulp. Now, it's just me and Mahendra.

"Are you going to decline the offer of the Indra himself?"

"Is it going to cost me?"

He shakes his head. "It would cost me. I am going to lose a jewel."

Not once has he cast a lecherous glance at my bosom. His gaze focuses on my eyes, peering into the unfathomable depths of my soul. Perhaps he can read me better than even I am capable of. Any other Deva in his place, however chaste, would have taken a fleeting moment to drink me.

Maybe that's why he is the Rajan of Devas.

"I don't think my father will allow me. He wishes that I remain at home and study there."

"Why should a woman be locked in the premises of a house? None of the women in Indraloka are."

"I don't live in Indraloka."

He frowns, averting his gaze. "You may become a part of it," he whispers, and dares to stand close to me. I need to raise my head to behold this towering enigma. "It's your choice."

I find myself doing what I shouldn't. My eyes linger on his toned chest and pink buds. Despite knowing there's nothing that goes unseen by this man, I am tempted to dream how his arms would feel like.

Like a magician, he proceeds to place a hand on my shoulder. The feathery touch is cautious, his silence seeking permission.

"Why do you make this proposal? Is it because you pity me?"

"No." His fingers glide through my locks, combing the knots. "It's not the urge to rescue you that fuels my desire."

"By asking me to come to Indraloka, during this intimate meeting, you hint that you wish me as wife."

"I do not deny."

Fear engulfs me. I look around, searching for anyone spying on us. It looks like we are indeed alone.

"You are of age," he says. "Soon you will be asked to marry."

"I-I shall think about it."

Mahendra takes his leave. I decide to return back home too.

It doesn't feel like home, the ashram of Gautama Rishi. I feel caged there, a divine bird bound to golden shackles. Mahendra knows about it– Urvashi told him. He never confronted me directly about my predicament, but has often requested me to join him.

I wonder– is it truly affection that he seeks? Maybe he does, and that pushes him to offer me help. As the Rajan of Devas he can't just do anything desperate.

I have seen many men in my life. All seem more or less the same, except Mahendra. If he has found in me a hope for forever, I must respect it.

Love will take me out of misery.