Goodbye, Butterfly

Chapter Three

The drive was only half an hour but was still too long for my taste. I sat there for maybe half the ride mentally giving him malevolent looks before I let all of that anger go. It all slipped away little by little, until my core fears and worries were left- the same ones that continually eat away at me. At least that is half of it. The other half is all the abuse I got from other people. This to me at least, is just another form of that abuse. I am just succumbing to it to get the least amount of pain out of it.

The car pulled into a hotel parking lot. The hotel itself wasn't due to open for another few days which meant that this was just another one of his fancy businesses he owned. Its outside architecture was impressive enough for the idea to come to mind. White stone arches line the wall on the outside, fit together in such perfection that it seemed flawless. It didn't look out of place either with the large set of doors for the main entrance. From the outside it looks complete. The only thing that could keep such a phantasmal building from opening would have to be on the inside. A few unfinished rooms or multiple unfinished touches left to complete would surely suffice.

"If you think that you are going to get out of that hotel without showing me your scars, you are so very wrong Reese. You can scream and you can call the police but if I explain to the what you are doing to yourself, you know what could happen, right?"

Killian's voice brought me back from my thoughts. It wasn't so much what he said, but the tone he used to say it. He was threatening me, taunting me to do just that. I knew what would happen if I did call the police. I would be taken from society and placed in some kind of institute to be locked up until I stop. At the thought, I let my hands hide my face as the threat of unbidden tears comes. I knew what it would lead to. I just don't want it to happen at all. I don't want to show Killian my scars at all, either. The only plan I have devised right now is to stay quiet and stay away from him best I can. He will not see them. I don't even know why I am with him right now. I should have left and just never came with him in the first place.

"What do you want from me, Killian?" I whisper, my voice shaking slightly from my fight of holding back the tears. There had to be more to this.

He must have heard me since there was a soft sigh, the car moving as if he had just sat down. When had he gotten out? I didn't remember him even getting out of the car. "I really do want to help. My parents tell me that I have a very unhealthy obsession with trying to help people. I want to know you better. I don't know why. It's just something about you draws me closer... closer to a fire that will surely burn my if I get too close."

I look up at him at the mention of something drawing him closer to me. I could feel the water rimming my eyes, a failure at keeping them back. He couldn't be serious. The familiar threatening fear overwhelms my senses and I look away from him like I had yesterday. This was another lie, a fib, something he was just saying to get me to show him my scars. He could have just possibly hinted that he liked me as well, but that is just another part of his lie. He was trying to fool me. I stay silent, having to words for him. Nothing could be said.

"My... girlfriend -- or ex actually -- she was like you. Hurt. Could trust nobody. Insecure... She killed herself six months after we met. She had a certain charm like you do. That's what drew me to her just like it does with you. I can't see somebody else hurt themselves. It hurts just to watch."

His voice broke at the end but I took little notice to it as I brushed the back of my hand over my tear streaked cheeks and eyes. "And yet I find that hard to believe." I say softly, my voice shaking with the tears. I want to believe him but I just can't. Help will never come for me. It doesn't exist since every time somebody helps me, it gets worse. Much worse. This, if even the slightest little bit of it was true, was just going to be like the rest.