"So you made it out alive, I take it?"
"Barely, but the water helped. I've definitely had worse. I'd give it a six out of ten for terribleness."
"Maybe I should change your name to that in my phone."
"You can rip fat cat's resident shitter out of my cold, dead hands."
"It's a very popular title, you'll probably have a lot of challengers."
"I'm ready to defend with my life. I'm a lumberjack, we fuck shit up."
"Tell them about how you get boners while taking a shit. That'll show them."
"That was more your fault than mine, I take no responsibility for that. The Commander has a mind of his own, I can't control him."
"The Commander? You are no longer allowed to name anything ever again. Seriously."
"But I gave you such a cute name in my phone!"
"Oh God, what's that?"
"Don't sound so bleak! Bathroom stall girl has got it's charm."
"That's the worst name ever. Change it. It makes me sound like some sort of creep. People might confuse me for you."
"Ha-ha. Flattery will not get you everywhere, Mina."
"It's worth a shot."
"And plus, you don't have any other identifiers anyway. I barely know anything about you. This relationship has been very one-sided so far."
"Relationship?"
"You know all of my identifiers- comic genius, charisma god, sexy lumberjack. What do we really know about Mina, hmm?"
"I can make some pretty killer banana bread."
"Is that all, really? That's all you see yourself as? An empty vessel to bring banana bread in the world?"
"I also like to terrorize Marie with my excellent pranks. It really brings purpose to my life. It's basically what gets me through the day."
"Other than our conversations, of course."
"Of course, how dare I forget to include our conversations?"
"It's okay, I'll forgive you, as long as you don't put glue in my conditioner."
"Don't worry, your two in one is safe, I've moved onto bigger and better things. She ended up putting a ridiculously life-like giant moth in my bed while I was sleeping, and I peed myself a little, so I have to step up my game now."
"What's your next move, oh Prank God?"
"She's got a hot date tomorrow. I put self-tanner in her lotion."
"No."
"It takes four to six hours to set in."
"You're evil."
"I think you mean brilliant."
"I think the perfect combination of both, really."
"Tha- oh shit, he's here."
"Hmm?"
"Oh, sorry, my boyfriend. Gotta go. He gets all huffy if he has to wait for me, and I'd rather not deal with that today. I'll give you an update about the lotion later, okay?"
"Oh, uh, cool. Can't wait."
***
it's come to my attention that a lot of you don't know what the o.c. is and i need you all to immediately give yourself the honour of having seth cohen in your life.
also deds to nightshades- for making me realize that the ship name of this is either marker or pina. and that i need to think of these things before i name my characters (but will probably never, because that wouldn't be very on brand, right)
YOU ARE READING
Once Upon a Bathroom Stall
Teen Fiction❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be so...
