"I waited a week for you to call."
"What? When did I say I was gonna call? Parker, you do realize that dream me and actual me are two very different people."
"You're right, dream you is way nicer and she actually calls me."
"Stop dreaming about me, that's weird. I officially remove all permission for you to dream about me. If you do it again there will be consequences."
"And dream you will make sure those are sexy consequences."
"Parker, you're the worst."
"You know, usually I would agree, but I'm not the one that didn't call."
"Was I supposed to?"
"Um, yes! I thought we'd finally reached the point in this friendship where I wasn't the only one calling since you called first, and then you just crushed my heart and let it out to die. Like it was nothing. Silence for a week. This isn't how you earn friendship bracelets, Mina."
"I just didn't think to, I guess?"
"This is where you lie and say wow Parker, I'm so sorry! I was so busy! I couldn't even find one free minute to give you a call and it is not at all because I want to crush all of your hopes and dreams."
"I feel like we did this before and you said you felt like a cheap whore."
"Well, too late for that."
"Wow, you really are taking this pretty hard. For what it's worth, I will maybe try and call you first sometime."
"Are you sure you're not just setting me up for more disappointment? I don't know if my heart can take it. I don't know if you remember, but I am the king dumpee of shit-dumped mountain. Remember that?"
"You are so not allowed to play that card anymore. You're milking it way too much at this point."
"What? It's not a card! That totally happened! I'm the victim here, I get to milk it for all it's worth. If you get dumped for your brother, I'll let you play the card."
"So it is a card."
"I can't hear you over how terrible life is to me."
"I can practically hear you grinning, Parker. Fine, I'll call you, okay?"
"I mean it, you seriously better."
"What, are you going to patiently stare at your phone for hours in the same position until I call next time or something?"
"Of course not!"
"Right."
"There will be snack breaks."
"Oh God, there are words for this, you know."
"Delightful? Adorable?"
"I'm trying to be nice here, don't make it harder than it already is. I only have so much in me, okay?"
"I have an idea on how you can make it up to me."
"Enlighten me. And I'd like to remind you that if you say anything about your Commander, I will rip off your balls through the phone."
"Well if you're talking sexy to me like that, how can I stop myself?"
"Parker."
"All right, all right, here's the deal: I hang up, and you can call me back. It's not perfect, but at this point, I'll take what I can get."
"You're totally not going to pick up. Don't try and pull a fast one on me."
"What? Of course I will! Come on, I'm the one who's hurt, make it up to me. I'm hanging up now, and you better call me back, okay? Or else I'll cry. And you don't want to make me cry."
"Why's that?"
"Because despite what you say, I'm pretty sure you've gotten a heart somewhere deep, deep, deep, super deep down in there and you'll feel bad."
"You really are delusional, but I'll bite. I'm hanging up now, okay? You better answer. I swear."
"I'll be waiting."
***
DID SOMEONE SAY DOUBLE UPDATE?
YOU ARE READING
Once Upon a Bathroom Stall
Teen Fiction❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be so...
