psychic / pjm

豊富

a/n: another one

december 15th, 2009

park jimin asked me out on september 28th and alot of girls envied my opportunity. but i was beyond happy he did.

right now, i'm the happiest i've ever been.

so is the saddest.

park jimin and i got into a fight on me suddenly leaving town for australia. for 7 years, i can understand him.

but i left on a bad note.

december 16th, 2009

i received a handwritten letter from his truly. and i felt like i was crumpling and everything hurt. like i've died.

he explained how sorry he was and he begged for us to reconnect communications with each other. jimin doesn't know how abusive i live my life here. i can't possibly do that.

i hope one day, i can tell him everything freely with no boundaries that i too; am sorry for everything.

january 2nd, 2010

park jimin died in new year's eve. 

i wish i could've been there.

if i was there, i could've saved him with lullabies or even give him a peaceful ending. but before he died, he saw a truck ambush him and it was my fault.

but. . . i'm slowly forgetting everything, like, what's the word? it starts with the letter 'a'. sometimes, like a minute ago, i'm forgetting who—

who's park jimin?

february 5th, 2010

so, i was supposed to right here, my "diary" for some reasons. it was advised by doctor jung, my therapist. he said i'm not normally forgetful but something tragic happened? i don't know.

haha, "i forgot". 

march 23rd 2010

so my parents got arrested. i think they stole something or abused or whatever. i don't care, i forgot. doctor jung handed me to kim seokjin. a man who takes care of people like me.

honestly, why did i go to the therapist in the first place, nothing's wrong with me.

i flipped through the pages of my old entries and kept seeing park jimin, how he died and how happy i was when i was with him.

is the person who wrote this actually me?

i don't know any park jimin's.

april 1st, 2010

i'm going to korea or whatever. seokjin said he'll stay there with his friend then i do whatever i want since it's my "homeland". am i forgetting how to speak korean?

am i korean?

i don't know i forgot.

april 10th, 2010

i'm in korea! i feel refreshed and somewhat nostalgic like something very happy and very sad happened here. but who knows,

i forgot.

REPRESSED

adjective

(of a thought, feeling, or desire) kept suppressed and unconscious in one's mind.