chapter nineteen.

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Simon - December 2014

Eventually more than your body grows tired. More than just your muscles, your skin, your bones. Eventually your mind, too, grows weary. You start growing paranoid. Wondering if they know, if they all know, wondering if you know. If I woke up as someone else tomorrow morning, would I even remember who I was before? Would I even care? You can only bury so many secrets, tell so many lies, wear so many faces, before your back begins to shake with the weight of it.

I was at that point, or far past it.

One afternoon in my sophomore year, I ate my lunch (a PB&J sandwich and a browning apple) in Ms. Quang's office, and I asked her, "When do I get to tell her the truth?"

Ms. Quang held my gaze. "I don't think it's a decision you yourself will make," she said.

"I think the truth will come out when it wishes to."

And what a day that would be.

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