The day we saw forever

The dynamic of us - part 2

Before 17.30 – Part 2.
We're sitting in the grass. The blades heavy on our feet. My ankles are feeling sore already. She has her eyes closed, head tilted toward the sky. Her lips a touch darker than before. My kiss reflected on them.

'That was nice.' My voice drifting along the breeze. She opens her eyes and moves till she is sitting cross-legged in front of me. Her hands picking at the grass under us.

'I should probably tell you that I don't normally do that but it feels kind of cliché to do so.'

'You're not a big fan of clichés are you?'

'It just feels a bit...'

'Uninspired,' I add and she nods. 'And here I thought all girls wanted to be swept away with grand gestures and movie kisses.'

'O I don't mind a grand gesture,' she smirks. 'I'm all for effort. In fact, I think I might be worse than most girls. I want a unique gesture.'

'Challenge accepted.' I force myself to stand and pull her up as well. The grass providing us with enough stability as not to tip over again. We manage to get back on the path and glide forward in the same glacial pace we did before we fell. Before I fell and took her with me.

Silence fills the atmosphere around us. There are hardly any people in the park. There's a couple on a bench a bit down the road and some dogs playing in the grass to my right. The sound of her laughter interrupts the quiet surrounding us.

'Sorry,' she snorts, covering her mouth with her free hand. 'I was just thinking about how ridiculous this is,' when all I do is look baffled she continues. 'My plan for today was to go to that art gallery and go back home. When you sat down beside me it felt like an inconvenience at first and somehow that turned into a kissing session in the park.'

'Could be destiny.' I say in my most serious voice. I leave that lingering between us for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

'Could be you're an idiot.' She sticks out her tongue, making her look younger than she is. Her eyes playfully staring into mine. I pull her toward me and kiss her quickly.

'A lovable idiot.' I whisper into her ear and I immediately notice the goosebumps forming on her arms.

We skate the park twice. Crossing from one path to the other till we go full circle and do it all over again. My ankles getting more sore by the minute but it's worth it. Finally we head back to the bike shop where I've rented them. Calli is fixing her hair in the window, pulling it up in a top bun. Her dress twirling beautifully around her.

'Let's take a walk.' She says when I get back outside. I let her cross her arm through mine.

We walk into the crowded part of town. Letting our eyes wander the various windows of the little boutiques on this street. She pauses in front of a small shop that sells handmade jewelry, eyes glued to a silver necklace in the far back.

'Wait here,' I tell her. I can hear her protest behind me. 'Wait here!' I yell a little louder.

I return to her with a little package in my hands and she rolls her eyes, letting out a deep sigh. She wants to protest some more but I hold up a hand to silence her. She begrudgingly takes the package from my hands. I watch her thin fingers unwrap it and fish out the most delicate silver necklace with a small pearl hanger dangling from it.

'You shouldn't have. I'll pay you back, I promise.' She blushes.

'You are most definitely not paying me back,' now I'm the one protesting. 'You're welcome.'

'Thank you, Maxi.' She plants a warm kiss on my cheek and I help her put it on. The pearl falls perfectly on her chest.

'My mother had one like this. It's basically all I remember of her. I sort of inherited it after her death but it broke before I hit sixteen. Dad threw it out.' The sadness in her eyes is quickly replaced with a newfound happiness when she looks at herself in the window. Touching the pearl ever so gently with her fingertips.

'What happened with your mother?' I ask carefully as we start walking again.

'She had a rough childhood resulting in a chronic depression. There were times when she was doing okay but those times only seemed to enhance the bad times by the end. Dad doesn't talk about it all that much. I don't really know what happened to mom when she was younger. Grandma said it had something to do with her father but she doesn't share much either. In the end she couldn't take it.'

'I can't even imagine how hard that must've been for you all.'

'I know it's harsh to say but I honestly think it's better this way.' She looks down at the floor. Her fingers nervously picking at each other. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it gently.

'You know that's not your fate. To end up like her.'

'Sometimes I just feel...' she stops herself.

'Tell me. I won't judge.'

'Angry. She left me. She had me and left me. I can't understand what was going on in her head because I fear that once I do, I'll understand it too much.'

'Whatever your mother was feeling, if she had found another way, don't you think she would've taken it?'

'Probably but how can I be sure. Nobody tells me anything.' She sighs.

'Could be that your father doesn't understand it either. Or he could be protecting you from furthering your anger. I don't think you'll end up like your mother though.'

'How?' she raises an eyebrow. 'I mean...'

'No, you're right. I barely know you even though it feels like I've known you quite a while now. It's been hours and you've shared some very personal details of your life with me. I feel confident enough to say I probably know more than most people in your life. Right?' She nods in response. 'And if we're all to end up like our parents... I don't want to believe that so I don't. You know what the aftermath of your mothers' death is. Would you do that to the people around you? To a child of your own?'

'Not on purpose,' The realization is beginning to sink in. Her eyes soften again, meeting mine in the process. 'She didn't do it on purpose either.'

'You'll be okay, Calliope.' I smile.

'Oh don't look so smug,' She elbows me. 'Thank you.'

With her realization comes my own. I think of my mother and her affair. Of dad and his misery. I think about these past few weeks, maybe even the past year because for a while now I've guessed that something was wrong in that marriage. The constant battles that took place over the dinner table and the way I've let their problems become my own by shutting down on my own life. They don't even know I dropped out of school. I didn't want to add to their problems. I should tell them when I get back home. There should be room for my problems.

'What are you thinking about?' her voice interrupts my stream of thoughts. I look at her. The wind has successfully blown one strand of hair free from the bun on top of her head. It's dangling freely by the side of her head and I can't help but tuck it behind her ear. The warmth of her skin accidentally touching mine and where I normally would've held back I start to share. So I tell her about my thoughts, about my feelings. I tell her everything and it's still not enough.

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