Chapter 22 ~ "Chill out"

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Nate

I wake up in my bed alone this morning. I groan and roll my face into my pillows, knowing today is just going to be awful. I knew I'd made the right choice but I also knew it meant for most likely driving a wedge between my old group of friends. My plan was just to sit with Sasha, knowing she was always so capable of brightening my day.

She was here last night, mom goes to work everyday before five a.m during the week so I knew we could sleep the night through. But she's not here anymore and I start to miss her.

Yesterday had been so great. We went and saw a shitty movie later on in the afternoon. Mostly for my own benefit, there isn't anything like cuddling in a dark movie theatre. She told me she didn't even know the last time she'd been to the movies and quite honestly.....neither could I. Sabrina didn't like going out to do something simple like that, and with everything else going on, there just wasn't time.

The best part of being with Sasha was it felt like everything slowed down while I was with her. Everything felt easy and painless, like we were supposed to be together. Every time I allowed myself to let my mind wander I thought about our conversation in the kitchen. It was inevitable, we've just been putting it off. It was important, not just to figure out where we stood with each other, but it gave me the chance to apologize for how I treated her and for her to tell me how she really felt.

My mind kept repeating those three glorious words she'd said to me, when I told her I wanted her. 'Then I'm yours'. Everything I felt for Sasha was overwhelming and it was nice to know she felt the exact same way.

I roll over when I realize I can hear faint humming coming from the bathroom and I smile. I stand up and start to find something to wear for the day listening to the door to the bathroom open and footsteps going back across the hall. 

I take a turn in the washroom and then I think about stopping by her room and saying good morning, but I stop myself. If I accidentally caught her changing, she'd be pretty upset. Sasha was hesitant to push intimacy, but I'd ultimately respect that. It's just hard when I know how pretty she is, when I know what it's like to have my hands touching her bare hips. She's so small my hands almost touch when I put one on either side of her body.

Eventually we'd get there, and I'd love every second of it. But for now I went back into my bedroom and got changed for the day. When I was done I just sat back down on my bed and stared off into space, worrying about the day ahead.

I'm broken out of my daze when I hear a knock at the door and I turn to see Sasha standing there.

"Hey." She says quietly with a small smile on her face.

"Hey." I say back and she looks at me sadly before walking over to join me on my bed. She sits down next to me and puts her hand on my shoulder. She then moves it up into my hair at the base of my skull, running her fingers through it.

"It'll all be alright." She whispers and I lean over on her shoulder. "I know you're worried, but just take it as it comes." I nod and feel the tension leaving my body. There wasn't anything I liked better than this, knowing I was important to her and feeling her fingers move through my hair. I turn more to give her a real hug that she gladly returns.

"Thanks Sasha." I whisper and she nods giving me one more good squeeze before pulling back. Then I kiss her forehead, letting my lips linger there for a second and she smiles. 

The two of us get our stuff together and then head for my car to take the drive to school. The whole way there she reaches out and puts her hand on my shoulder or arm. It's a nice gesture, letting me know that she cares about me.

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