Kai's POV
It hurts. Everything hurts.
I don't know what happened, one moment I was crossing the green light and the next everything hurted.
I just know everything hurts. I looked to my side to see my leg was bleeding as well as my stomach and probably my head too. I tried to unbuckle my seat with the hand that I could move but I couldn't, I tried and tried but it was useless.
I'm trapped.
I hadn't noticed the car was on it's side. I can't hear anything just smell gasoline. I needed to get out so I started to move and I shouldn't have because the pain became worse than before.
I need to get out or else I will die and I will never see her again... but I couldn't remember who she was until a voice in the back of my head cleared my thoughts.
Iliana, you can't leave Iliana, it said, it reminded me.
I was starting to faid away I could feel it, like I was falling asleep but as I did I find it harder and harder to breathe. I didn't want to go so I fought but I lost.
The last thought on my mind was of grey eyes as I felt slipping away and then I saw nothing but darkness.
-
I woke up panting for the third night in a row.
Nightmares again and as usual I couldn't remember what they were about. They have been constant ever since Iliana and I started trying to relieve our old memories together.
I grabbed my phone to check the time, four in the morning. Great. Again.
Feeling thirsty I grabbed the crutch from besides my bed and decided to head to the kitchen to get some water. At least I can walk good enough now that I don't need the wheelchair, but I'm not yet good enough to climb stairs on my own.
At the kitchen I grabbed a glass and filled it with water, I was so thirsty that I ended up drinking four glasses.
Damn nightmares.
I couldn't go back to sleep, I never can whe I wake up from a nightmare - which kind of fucks up my sleep schedule. I just decide to go seat on the back porch instead of going back to my room.
The sea smell and the sounds of the waves gave me some kind of tranquility and serenity. It was almost therapeutic. I looked at my phone and weighed on if I should call or not. Ever since I started these bad dreams I've had the need of talking to someone afterwards. I know Iliana is upstairs but I can't make myself wake her up because god knows she's already doing so much for me just to bother her in the middle of the night too.
Fuck it.
I dialled the number and waited for it to pick up, it usually does after the third ring.
"Hey."
"Hi," I responded.
"Nightmare?" I heard the groggy sleepy voice from the other side of the phone ask.
"You know it," I chuckled softly.
"Still don't remember what they were about?"
I shook my head but responded once I remembered she couldn't see me, "No."
"I'm sorry," Blair said.
"No, I am, I shouldn't be bothering you this early for something so stupid. I'm sorry, I don't know why I called - keep calling."
And I really don't, out of all the people I could've called the first night for some reason I ended up calling Blair. Even if we haven't know each other for very long I still felt comfortable enough with her to call her and I don't really know why but she didn't complain when I did.
"I don't mind it." She said softly with a kind voice over the phone.
"You're just trying to be nice."
"Not really. I care about you Kai, you're a good person."
I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment before opening back up.
"What's the one thing you remember about your nightmare?" Blair asked.
"Nothing..."
"Come on Kai, there must be someone even if it seems like a small thing or not relevant. If it's just a feeling or emotion, anything."
I think about it for a few seconds before coming up with a response. "I remember being scared, not being able to breathe properly. It felt like I was suffocating."
"Okay at least is something."
It felt like small progress, you would think it wasn't something useful to say but it was. I felt some pressure leave my chest.
"It is, thank you."
"Don't worry about it. But Kai... I don't want to sound out of line..."
"You won't, whatever it is, you can tell me Blair." I said quickly not wanting her to feel like she couldn't talk to me cause she must definitely can.
"You should see someone for your nightmares. A therapist maybe?"
I sighed again. "I know. I'm just... tired of doctors."
"They're just so you can get better but I understand it can get tiring. Just consider it."
"I will but just because I don't want to keep bothering your sleep."
"Again you don't, I usually wake up at the times you call."
"Are you being honest or just trying to make me feel less shitty?" I asked with a slight joking voice.
"I'm being hundred percent honest," she responded.
"Promise?"
"I would even pinky promise you if I were where you are."
"Wow wow, now I know you're definitely not lying if you're willing to pinky promise." I said earning a melodious giggle out of Blair.
"You better believe it," she said jokingly.
I chuckled.
"Thanks Blair." I repeated.
"You don't need to thank me Kai. I'm here for you if you need me," Blair responded.
"Even at four in the morning?"
She now chuckled. "Even at four in the morning," she reassured me.
Aftee talking for a while longer I decided that I had bothered enough already so we said our goodbyes.
I remained sat outside on the back porch while watching the sun rise in the beach. These views really made life a little more beautiful.
Maybe things will get better from now own even if I never get my old memories back. Maybe if I just try hard enough I can find some sense without them.
-
A/N - A bit short I know, sorry.
Also if you can go check out my new book! :)
