Sprinkling Fling ✓

18.

Still looking deeply into his eyes as I'm sitting on his lap. We're both hot for the other, very much aroused. I know we both want each other. Craving to be closer.

"Do you want to take this any further?" He breathes out.

Fuck. I'm feeling nervous again. Suddenly there is much pressure for the answer I'm about to give. I start to shift in Del's lap. Why couldn't we just stay close and keep kissing forever? I've just managed to break my first wall down to kiss him, but actual sexual things?

I'm too awkward for this.

"I—" No more words come out of my mouth.

I don't know. Do I want to try anything?

What does he mean with any further—touching, oral, sex, which one?—it could mean so many different things. The level of intimacy on each is distinct on all of them. But am I ready to touch the first level of intimacy?

Isn't kissing already intimate enough?

I appreciate him at least asking—some would dive right in, without consent—but I don't know how to answer him.

He seems to notice my lack of knowing how to answer. He starts to rub my sides to calm me down a little as he searches my eyes to see where my mind is at, right this moment. He always is my little mindreader.

"It's okay if you're not ready. I wouldn't want you to regret anything later. We've only just started hanging out." He assures me.

I hate to admit it, but I was a little scared to be rejected if I didn't do anything sexual with him.

"It's just that it takes a lot of trust on both parts to go any further. I am not used to any of this. I want to try something soon, but I don't think I am ready for it now." I answer honestly.

It's true. I've been craving him. But to actually get to the action itself might be a bit much for me.

"That's okay. There is no pressure on us. We can do things at your pace. That is totally fine." He looks me deeply in the eyes, "but I feel like I should ask, have you done anything before. If not, it's fine, but it feels kinda important to know."

I don't remember if I ever mentioned Bodie to him. I feel like I did, or maybe that was with Chase.

"Yes, I have. My uh..." Fuck, this is awkward to bring up, "...ex-boyfriend. He is the only person I've been with."

"Oh, okay... cool."

Cool?

For some reason, he seems disappointed? But also like he had expected it? There is no surprise in his voice. I don't know what to call his emotion.

Had he hoped I hadn't been with anyone else before? God, I hope he is not one of those cavemen that like to claim women by being there first. Or maybe he is jealous?

I wish I could tell what he is thinking. If only I had the ability he always seems to have when I'm overthinking things—he can always read my mind, but why can't I just read his?

He places both hands on my cheeks, softly stroking them as he inspects me. He then leans in, pecking my lips one more time. His softness brings me comfort. It almost makes all the nerves that have erupted minutes ago disappear.

The pressure to do more with him disappears. I know he doesn't mind. He has given me reassurance with his eyes. His character is not someone to hold it against me.

This man is making me fall hard and fast for him with all I have. There is no holding back on it anymore. I am free-falling.

He looks at me and then leans forward to press a chaste kiss on my lips.