Strings

Chapter 33

Avery

It's been a while since the scene unfolded at my place and I've had time to deal with it since then. Well, most of it at-least.

Olivia was admitted to an institution where she can get more specialized care for her case and the knowledge of the state of her mental health takes me by surprise every single time.
I can't help but think what could've been done to prevent this, how did we miss the signs, how could no one else pick up on her behavior, how could I not pick up on her behavior?

I've been counselling with her doctor who helps me understand her condition better. She lets me know gently that almost everything that didn't go Olivia's way led her down to a spiral of self-destruction and for her own sake she found someone to pin it all on conveniently so she doesn't have to face the consequences of her actions.

Olivia's greed, her pride, her ego it out-grew her light, her passions and her ambitions so much so, she not only ended up compromising the integrity of her dreams she ended up comprising who she was a person and as an artist in an otherwise extremely toxic profession and work environment.

Drowning in the knowledge of what has happened, not being able to process any of it or claiming a safe space for herself that would allow her to breathe and open up caused a sequence of neurological reactions powered by drugs, alcohol-binging and heightened tendencies to self-destruct.

She has refused any visitors at the institution but I visited the place anyways. She is under high scrutiny and observation and her doctors tell us it keeps her extremely on edge and snappy but apart from that she seems to be a lot more at ease than she was before her admittance.
She has trouble opening up about her past and the things that she did and the things that happened to her in her therapy sessions where two out of three times it ends up in an outburst, but the doctors assure us of the fact that her progress, however miniscule, is still progress indeed.

Walking out the gates of that institution, I feel overwhelmed, to say the least. So much has come to light, so much has made itself known and although it removes the confusion and the continual feeling of betrayal and explains almost everything leading to the circumstances that are prevalent currently, it does nothing to ease my mind, or bring peace to my heart.

I sit on a little bench trying to wrap my head around it, trying to process it when Hayden's Mercedes-Maybach Exelero stops across from me.

He opens the sleek black door of his magnificence of a car and sits next to me.

I can't deny how I feel around him anymore, I can't deny the butterflies that flutter in my stomach every time we make the slightest of contact, I can't deny the way my breath hitches when I catch him looking at me in the way he does, and I sure as hell, can't deny how my heart goes into overdrive merely with him being around.

And I know we were strung together in the most unusual of circumstances but I can't help but think if our story would have been different if things were not as dire as they are.

Feeling exhausted with myself in the constant struggle of trying my best not to collapse against myself and coming crashing down, I find myself sliding closer to Hayden, resting my head on his shoulder. He responds immediately, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me closer as he hold me tightly.

Just this feeling, this moment is so calm, so complete, so ...pure, it almost seems unreal. Almost as if it doesn't fit in the massive jig-saw puzzle of the ever increasing Marshall family mess.