Sometimes he loves me

Chapter 16

EMMA

It's Monday morning when I walk to my engineering class. I see Finn lean against the wall next to the door, his gaze on nothing and his arms folded. Is he waiting on me? No, he's probably waiting for the class to start.

I try to walk into the classroom unnoticed, but he looks up as if he senses me. Mixed emotions hit me when he sees me.

He pushes himself off the wall and comes to stand before me. "Can we talk?"

So he was waiting for me... why would he do that? Vincent doesn't even bother to talk after an argument, and he's my boyfriend.

"No." I say and try to walk around him and into the classroom, but almost crash into him when he blocks my way. It confuses me to look at him again, I don't want to feel this familiar feeling and finally know who he is.

His black eyes crush my heart. Fuck, this is Finn. Finn. The boy that protected me, helped me and cared for me. And then left without a word.
He speaks anyway. "Nothing I say can be good enough to tell you how sorry I am."

"Then maybe you should just shut up." I hiss, so the students passing us don't hear me.

I don't want to deal with this, I just want to pretend nothing happened and go back to being strangers again. Not that we ever were strangers.

When I want to walk around him again, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back, away from the classroom entirely. "Emma, ​​just listen to me."

His hand on my wrist just makes me more frustrated because I don't want to admit that his touch, no matter how small, feels so good. It takes me all my strength not to let his soothing voice calm me down. "Leave me the fuck alone, Finn." I jerk my hand free against my own will and then rush into the classroom.

I'm impatient for the class to finish, I have to get out of here. Although I doubt he would come and talk to me in here and I think my message was convincing enough. Whether I meant it or not...

I manage to avoid his gaze the first hour of Engineering, but remind myself I still have another to go. I couldn't focus on a thing the professor has said and my thoughts are confusing and incoherent. It feels like a bomb of memories has exploded in my mind. Ones of Finn and me from the past and present... What am I supposed to do with this? I can't just pretend like everything's okay after he hurt me like that, can I? I know I have to give him a chance to defend himself, but I'm not ready to hear what he has to say.

I've got enough on my mind already. Vincent still hasn't answered my text messages or my phone call after the fight we had.

By the time we have a fifteen minute break from class, I grab my phone and see that I have nine missed calls from my mom. All from the past hour. My heart starts beating madly. My mom never calls me this early in the morning.

She never calls me, period.

I immediately call her back, speaking softly when she picks up. Everyone in class is talking to each other so nobody will hear me anyway. "Mom? What's going on?"

I can hear her sobbing on the other end of the line. "Emma, ​​it's your father..." I hear several voices in the background.

"What's wrong with him?" I automatically stand up and grab my bag from the floor, ready to go to my car and drive over to them.

"He- he is..." She starts sobbing.

"Mom, take a breath. What happened?" I ask as the adrenaline rushes through my body. I put my books into my bag and throw my bag over my shoulder. I can feel Finn's eyes burning on me.

"He had a heart attack, he didn't make it." I feel the floor underneath me disappear and sit back down with my phone numb in my hand.

🖤

5 days later- I turn my car off and wipe my clammy hands dry on my yellow dress. The one I intended to return last week, but with all the shit I had to take care of the past few days, I haven't thought of washing anything decent for my father's funeral. So I guess it's a good thing that I forgot.

As I look at my old house, I see that the house is packed with friends of my parents who are mourning the death of my father. I don't know why but I'm so bloody nervous to go in and see all of them again. I was relieved that the funeral was being held in a closed circle, just for my mom and me. I would have loved to immediately have driven home afterwards, but my mom wanted me here.

I never had a great bond with my dad. I even hated him at one point in life, but the same goes for his friends. I never really wanted to talk to them and hated them just as much. It's not that my dad's death leaves me cold, but I'm mainly here because my mother wants me to.

I get awakened from my thoughts when I hear a soft knock on my car window. When I look up I see Finn standing there. He smiles at me and then takes a step back so I can get out of the car.

He came to me in class after that phone call and made up an excuse to the professor so I could leave. I was in too much of a shock, so I let him drive me home and I only nodded when he asked me if I needed him to support me today. I'm still not sure if it was a mistake to invite him.