Sometimes he loves me

Chapter 22

EMMA

I close the washing machine and look at my phone. It's five in the afternoon and I still haven't heard anything from Vincent since he left yesterday. The past few weeks I've been the one who sends something first, but this time I wanted to test how long it would take for him to take action himself. But it looks like I have to take the initiative again. Sometimes I hate being the bigger person. Aren't you supposed to want to talk to each other every day when you're in love? It shouldn't be one sided...

It also frustrates me that he didn't see that there was something wrong with me yesterday, like Finn did. I had hoped Vincent would call me today to ask about it or at least call me just to hear my voice, like he used to do when we just started dating four years ago. Why did so much change between us?

Sighing, I look for Vincent's name in my contacts and call him. I don't know how I'll ask him, but I need to talk to him about Snapchat. My own thoughts are driving me crazy and I can't keep it to myself any longer.

After three times of not answering or declining, he finally picks up.

"I'm at work, what's up?" I hear his cold tone on the other end of the line.

I swallow a lump in my throat. "I wanted to talk to you about something." I admit right away. I better not beat around the bush when he's in a bad mood, I'll only make it worse.

"Is it important? I have a client waiting for me." He says with a sigh.

"I won't take long." I promise. I'm not going to let myself be brushed off like last time.

"Okay, but be quick."

"It's about snapchat..." I wait for some sign that he understands what I'm talking about, but all I hear is an irritated sigh. I decide to continue talking anyway. "When you thought I was asleep this weekend, I was actually awake and saw you on it."

"Yeah, so?" He asks without any sign of feeling caught.

"I saw your conversations and your list of friends..." I go on, hoping that he will explain the rest without me having to ask him. I hate that I always have to pull everything out of him.

"And?" I can hear him rumbling in the background.

My voice trembles as I continue talking. "And I don't think it's normal for you, a man in a relationship, to be flirting with other women on Snapchat and even give them your number." My tears are now falling down like heavy bricks.

When he doesn't answer I ask "Don't you care about my feelings and that you're hurting me?"

"Jesus can you stop whining. What about all the things you've done to me?" I hear him say accusingly.

"What do you mean what I've done? Vincent, I've never done anything!" Now my blood starts to boil, but as always I try to keep my voice calm between sobbing. It frustrates me so much that he always tries to turn the tables.

"You know what you've done, Emma." His voice sounds controlled, as if he's sure of himself, so sure that I'm beginning to doubt myself. "Don't act dumb."

"Do you even love me?" I ask sobbing.

"What a stupid question. Of course I love you." It sounds more like he's saying it because he feels like he has to, instead of meaning it.

"If you love me you wouldn't have all those girls on snapchat. You would understand and care that it makes me insecure." I lean against the washing machine and lower myself to the dirty floor, holding my phone, slippery from my tears, against my ear.

"It's not my problem that you're insecure. You know what? I'm not even going to waste my time on this. You have to stop playing the victim for once." Is the last thing he says before he hangs up.

Fresh hot tears sear my cheeks, I pull up my legs and wrap my arms around them as I bury my face crying.

"What did he do?"

I look up at a shadow standing in the doorway, it's Finn. I can see in his eyes that concern and anger are fighting for prominence.

When he walks up to me, I quickly get up and wipe my wet cheeks dry, leaving mascara and foundation stains on the sleeves of my red cardigan. "Nothing." I clear my throat. Finn's not supposed to know anything about the fights between Vincent and me, I don't want him in the middle of my shit.

"Don't lie to me."

"It's nothing..." My voice is softer than I intended.
"I heard your conversation walking up here." Is his reply. "A small part at least."

I keep quiet as he studies my face, making me feel uncomfortable and I quickly avert my eyes.

"You do know it's not okay if your boyfriend talks to other girls, right?" He asks, his tone is serious but calm, as if he doesn't want to hurt me.

I feel fresh tears coming up again so I bite my lower lip to hold them back, but it doesn't work. Before the tear can roll down my cheek, Finn takes a step towards me and catches it with his thumb. Startled by his sudden touch, I look up at him.

"Don't cry, not for someone like him."

His other hand goes up too, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His gaze moves from my hair, to my lips, and then to my glassy red eyes.

"Why are you allowing yourself to be humiliated by him? You are magic, darling. He doesn't deserve someone like you." He whispers.

When his eyes return to my lips, I quickly look away.

"He... He didn't mean it that way." I say, doubting whether I believe in my own words.

"What did he mean then?" Finn asks.

"He's been through a lot, and there's a lot of pressure on his shoulders because..." I begin, but Finn cuts me off.

"There is no excuse good enough to treat a woman the way he treats you. No matter what he's been through or how much pressure is on his shoulders." His tone is serious and when I look up at him again his look is stern, but calm.

My phone is still on the floor and vibrates. I don't know why, but something in me is still hoping for a message from Vincent. An explanation for his behaviour or at least a message reassuring me of how much he only loves me. But when I look down It's a message from my mother. I try to hide my disappointment when I look back at Finn.

"Come with me to New York in an hour. Just to get your mind off things and have fun." He offers.

Me going to New York together with Finn? I don't even want to know what Vincent would do to me if he found out.

He sees the doubt in my eyes and then picks up my phone from the floor. I look at him uncomprehendingly as he types something on my screen and gives it back. "Here's my number and my mother's address, for when you change your mind." He says and walks back to the door.

"Oh, and darling?" He says, turning in the doorway to face me. "If you were mine, I would burn the world for you."