Double-Edged Words

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

My overflowing grief threatened to drown me in the cramped space behind stone walls and iron bars. How did it come to this? How could I not see what was happening under my own nose? What have I done? How could I kill an innocent man? I'm a monster just like those who set fire to my village years ago. Anguish's tight grip crushed my heart and lungs. Tears pricked my eyes while the legion of thoughts buzzed around my head.

"You've got to pull yourself together, Iskander. We need to find a way out of here." Calim's hands pulled at the arms that held my knees close to my chest and hid my face from his view. "This was not your fault. You were misled. You didn't know any better."

Swallowing the knot in my throat, I mustered the strength to reply. "I killed the High Priest even though he told me he didn't do it. I should have taken him in for questioning. Now, because of me, a family has been left without a father."

"Again, you were misled Iskander. The king gave you orders, and you followed them. Thinking you were doing what was right like you always have. It's just this time, the person that we all trusted the most preyed on that trust to do his dirty deed. This is all on him."

"Don't coddle me. I know what I did was horrible, and it's all my fault for not stopping to think before I acted. I have become jaded after years of war and let my anger and frustration get the best of me when I shouldn't have. I'm the Supreme Commander of this kingdom, and I should always excel in my position."

"You know that you're not perfect, right? None of us are. You made a mistake like anyone of us would have, and sadly it did cost the life of someone, but it wasn't due to your own doing. It was the king who lied."

You know that's not the truth. You came into that mission searching for blood, and you got what you wanted. You didn't care that the high priest was innocent. You are a brute, a monster like everyone thinks you to be. Too stupid to notice when someone is using you to get what they want. The nightmarish voice of my thoughts ran rampant inside my head. Blocking my ears to his words with deafening, grating whispers. "I should have seen it coming. He was acting strange before all this happened. I let my prejudice against the High Priest cloud my judgment."

"Iskander, you shouldn't feel th-"

"Why do you care how I feel? For all I know, you could be plotting against me too!" Calim pulled back and froze in shock at my outburst. "Are you really my friend? Or are you just pretending until you have achieved your goal?"

Calim sighed, "No, I am not just a friend. Like I said before, I am your brother. But I'm not going to argue with you anymore. Think whatever you want." His eyes betrayed his hurt, piercing another hole into my tattered heart. Why do I keep messing up? "We still need to get out of here. Do you want your wife and butler to be dragged to the capital like traitors? To be judged by that brat who is not very happy with you at the moment?"

A surge of adrenaline shot up my veins at the thought of Leyla and Benjamin being in danger due to my incompetence. "Leyla!" I jumped up to my feet and dashed to the door to run my palms over the wooden surface. Searching for a way to break out of the cell. "Darn! The doors have those new hinges without the pin you can pull out."

"I noticed, and even if they did have those. We will need to pray to Iz for some supernatural strength to get those out." Calim deadpanned and continued, "Listen, I was thinking about another way to get out of here. Let's say I pretend to be injured, and you scream for the warden to get some medical help. When they come in, we fight them, knock them out and run out of here."

"If it were that easy. We would have jailbreaks happening every single day. Also, even if they believe your theater-worthy performance. They will come in a group of six, armed with their swords, and would skewer us before we can set foot outside of this cell."