there are nights...
...when i lie awake in bed, and my body aches with want; my chest empty-feeling and aching; my fingers itching to hold.
there are nights when i feel so entirely incomplete i can't stand it. so many intense feelings and desires swirl around inside of me, impossible to ignore, even more unpleasant to focus on. i bite my tongue, my lips, my fingers— anything to distract me. no matter how incredibly frustrated i am, i can't even cry.
it's always the same; i feel so many intense emotions, and i collect them inside myself. i'd never dare to let them out into the open, the thought terrifies me. sometimes, i just wish that i could let go of them when i'm alone. i want to concentrate them into the shape of a tear that slowly dribbles down my cheek, away from my head. i want to give myself a chance to be clear-headed; calm. but i can't even cry. even when i'm alone in my bed, when it's far too late to be awake, when everything but the end-of-summer crickets that refuse to leave me in peace is far too deep in slumber to notice any sort of quiet sniffle or sob, i can't.
those are the nights when i curl in on myself, shove my head into my pillow, and drown in the pile of blankets i've collected. i wait, desperately, to be rescued from my own consciousness. from the constant wrenching of my heart.
and i wake up in the morning, rushing to get out of bed, just in case the feeling returns.
YOU ARE READING
hold me ♡ minsung
Fanfiction┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐ lee minho doesn't like to be touched. that's what he says, anyway. han jisung doesn't believe it. └── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
