28 | ugly crying

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Jo

THE ONLY GUY who has ever really kissed me is Craig Johnston and I used to think kissing Craig was like heaven but eventually I realized that it was more of a give and take thing. Sometimes it was a 'take' without any giving in return and it was like pushing squarely against his mouth and pulling back.

So when Flynn's lips touch mine, I expect the same thing. The same fleeting excitement that ends even before the kiss does but it doesn't happen because I've never been kissed like this before. There's a palpitation in my chest and despite the fact that his lips are cool from the soda he'd been drinking earlier, it feels like a liquid hot emotion is running through my veins.

He kisses me once and pulls away slightly and then he inches forward and kisses me again. My eyes shut immediately and I angle my chin towards him and enjoy his feather-like kisses on my mouth. He's intoxicating and smells like his cologne and I breathe him in because he's stealing mine away. I want to open my eyes and see the look on Craig's smug face and if Semia really is going to punch me in the face, but I can't. Not even if I tried. His lips are so soft and so gentle and then he squeezes my neck after he's done with his butterfly kisses and our mouths fall open together.

He kisses me properly now, all traces of vanilla kisses gone. His hand moves from my neck and his thumb hovers over my pulse point. I bring my fingers up to his hair and slide them through it. It's soft and smooth and everything I've imagined his hair to be and when I pull on it, he smiles against my mouth and kisses me a little bit harder.

His fingers splay on my jaw and he holds me in place as his mouth moves against mine. Despite my first and foremost rule, our lips part at the same time and our tongues brush. I almost don't hear anything anymore after that. Not the crashing waves or the loud music or even the distant shrieks and laughter behind us. I have one focus and for a moment, I forget it's fake because I can only think about Flynn. Flynn's lips on mine. Flynn's fingers on my skin. Flynn's smile on my lips. Flynn's cologne in my nose.

I want him to kiss me again, deeper than what he just did but he withdraws his mouth from mine and gently pulls my bottom lip with his teeth, scraping a little, before leaning away. I blink once and let out a shaky breath before untangling my fingers from his hair.

He directs his gaze to Craig and raises a challenging brow at him before picking up his soda from the ground.

I turn to Amanda and whisper, "How long was that?"

"I don't know. About a minute? But it was really hot. I think someone got it on video." She grins and I lick my lips and swallow. They're still tingling and blood is still rushing through my veins and my heart has not relaxed. This isn't good. Not at all. This isn't real.

I want to go home. I want to climb on my bed and close my eyes and wish I didn't just kiss Flynn and like it despite knowing it's all an act. I want to sleep off and wake up with no memory of me wanting to grab him and kiss him again.

Craig is not happy. If anything, he's furious. Flynn gives his turn to someone else and I glance at him. He looks okay and even though there's a slight flush on his cheeks and his lips are a little swollen, he looks completely fine. I should too because this shouldn't look like the first time we've kissed but I'm as stiff as a board, with my eyes following the spin of the bottle.

It lands on Flynn this time and the shy girl looks slightly guilty. He chooses truth this time and she shrugs.

"Sorry," she laughs after a few minutes of thinking. "I can't think of anything."

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