Aylia Holmes

13. A Pained Waltz

When the dance concluded and they went their ways, Aylia could not stop herself from slipping away into the deserted corridor just outside the ballroom.

"Forgive me," she said quickly, turning to back out as she saw another inside.

"No, it's all right," Elwin said, jumping up.

Aylia froze, keeping her gaze glued to the floor as she leaned back against the doorframe.

The silence stretched on a long time until he finally said, "You look well, Ayla."

"Oh, so it's Ayla, now, is it, Mr Tewksbury?" she said softly. Looking up at him, she remarked, "I thought one needed to be friends with someone to allow for the use of their given name, forget a nickname."

"We are friends, what are you-" he began.

"No, friends do not abandon one other!" Aylia cried.

Lowering her voice, she sighed, sitting down on one of the low benches.

Elwin stared at her in confusion as he asked, "What are you talking about? If I had not left when your brother told me to-"

"I'm not talking about that!" Aylia shouted, rising to her feet again and glaring at him.

Her anger softened at the sight of his confused, hurt eyes.

"You never wrote or visited or..." she whispered. "Why, Elwin? I thought..."

"Ayla," he said gently, dropping his gaze. "I- I'm engaged to another."

"I see," Aylia whispered, tears springing to her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I-" he began, stepping toward her.

"No, stop doing that," Aylia ordered.

"Stop what?" Elwin asked.

"Stop apologizing, stop looking at me, just stop," she cried.

"Why?" he replied, his brows furrowed.

"Because every time I look at you, all my resolve to anger melts to nothing," Aylia whispered, taking a step back as he stepped closer.

"I am not the one who needs to stop, Ayla," Elwin retorted, taking another step closer. Aylia stood against the wall as he resumed, "You have to stop."

"Stop what?" she countered as he took another step forward.

"Do you know what I've been meant to be doing these past five days?" he asked, taking another step closer. He was only a few inches from her now. "I've been meant to be looking for my cousin, but instead all I can do is think of you, Ayla."

"You are engaged," Aylia retorted. "Here you stand, practically confessing affection for me when you are engaged to another. Do not toy with me!"

"It is not an engagement of love!" Elwin defended.

"It is all the same!" Aylia countered. "You have made a commitment to someone else. Until that commitment is broken, you cannot make any to me. Stay nothing more about love or affection or your thoughts. I am not welcome into your thoughts and you are no longer welcome into my life, Mr Tewksbury."

He flinched as though he had been stabbed.

"Ayla-" he began.

"Miss Holmes," she corrected fiercely.

Looking up into his face, she felt her heart clench as she saw tears in his eyes.

"Miss Holmes," he whispered, just barely mustering the strength to look into her eyes.

Then with a singular bow of the head, he disappeared out the door.

Aylia waited a moment to collect herself before she rushed into the ballroom, located her uncle and said, "Uncle, please, can we leave?"

"If that is what you wish, dear," he replied, although his brows furrowed in concern. "Why don't you just go wait outside while I fetch your aunt, hm?"

She nodded and quickly did as he suggested. There in the gardens, she let out a long sigh before a singular tear streaked down her cheek.

.

Once back in her own rooms, Aylia sank to the floor, staring into the dark heart of her fireplace as she felt the painful sting of tears wishing to fall burn at her throat, but she could not bring herself to cry. She had cried more in the last week than she ever wished to cry again, and to go from crying over her father to over some boy she barely knew...she could not bring herself to allow it.

Clearing her throat, she rose to her feet, changed out of her formal dress, and replaced it with a simple daily dress. Then, setting a suitcase on her bed, she began packing up her simplest dresses, a few of her books, and other possessions she could not bear to part with. Then, when all this was done, she reached under her mattress and drew out a leather case filled to the brim with bank notes all equalling to over one million pounds.

The money, a combination of her inheritance from her father, which her mother had ensured was given to her, and the money she herself had made from her paintings, she quickly stashed beneath her corset at her breasts. Sitting down at her desk, she wrote the following letter.

Dear Aunt and Uncle,

I'm sorry to pain you so, but I can no longer continue to live under the thumb of my brother. I have money and friends with whom I can find solace, but I will not return. Please do not fear for me. I promise you that if I need you, you shall hear from me, and if you should have need of me, I will come to you.

Please do not be angry or feel betrayed. The two of you have been the greatest thing to happen to me, but I need to find my own way now. Thank you for everything.

Your loving niece,

Aylie

Setting the note on her bed, Aylia picked up her suitcase and disappeared into the night.