Sukoon

10

Radha Ahale

It feels surreal to have him inside me and feel him melt into me. The way he claimed me tonight has made me feel so much about him.

It's more than just a stupid crush on him. More like, I have started liking him knowing very well that this a very dangerous zone to enter, 'cause then Shardul will push me away, but I just can't stop myself from falling for him.

He's everything I have ever wanted and I am going to miss him once he will be gone.

We just had our lunch together on the bed and we were heading back to the villa where we stayed. It felt nice to just be with him, get to know his playful side and literally be just myself around him

"Why can't we stay here" I mumbled in a very small voice but Shardul however heard it.

"It's the same villa Radha, same furniture too" he caressed my cheek with his thumb and placed a kiss on my cheek where I could feel stubble which made me want him more.

"Yeah but... you know it's nice when it's just the two of us" I tucked the loose hair and licked my bottom lip in nervousness as I could already feel Shardul's stare getting more intense on me.

Why did I even say that. He will again tell me that I shouldn't expect anything more than a friends with benefits arrangement.

Shardul held my arm and bought me close to him such that, our mouths are just inches away, "Radha, don't get attached to me. It will only hurt you and that's the last thing I want to do to you"

After he finished the sentence I stared straight into his eyes which were hallow with nothingness. I couldn't believe they were the same eyes which were filled with love, lust and care for me few hours ago.

"Why?" I asked him. Trying to hold back my tears. Don't you dare cry over him.

"Relationships are not for me. I am not here for commitments"

Just as I heard that I released myself from his grip.

"Please just don't be near me from now on" I said grabbing my shrug, "We shouldn't have done this in the first place"

"What" he said in a annoyed voice while I gathered my stuff just so I don't see his face.

"Radha" he firmly said, following me wherever I was going to grab my things.

"Radha I'm talking to you" he held my arm.

"Do you regret everything we did?"

"No" I looked into his eyes whilst my eyes were full of tears. "I have started liking you" I bursted into more sobs, "- and I don't want to do this because" more sobs left my mouth to the point I was breathless and I couldn't speak, Shardul withheld concern on his face on how I have been acting around "You will never like me back and now you will think I'm just so dumb"

My limbs couldn't hold themselves anymore so I sat on the floor and curled myself in a ball.

"Radha" Shardul held me tight in his arms and caressed my hair, "I will never think you are dumb or anything like that. Please don't cry over me like that. I don't deserve that"

He wiped onto my tears and handed me a bottle of water.

"Why it isn't me?" I asked Shardul, "Do I lack something?"

"No no no" he cupped my face and kissed my temple.

"It's me... I just can't do it" he murmured, "-and We will just be on friendly basis"

"No, I don't want you to be around me"

A frown formed on his forehead, "okay"

"Now let's go. Get up" he stretched out his hand for me and I slipped mine into it. Knowing very well that from tomorrow onwards we are going to ghost each other