Making Up For Lost Time - [James Barnes x Male OC]

21

James's Point of View

"Stefan!" I hugged him tight, and he hugged me back tighter, kissing my cheek before his face buried itself into my neck.

"How was your doctors appointment?" Clint asked, smirking. Stefan lifted his head, looking at Clint with empty eyes.

Not a good doctors visit.

"Lets go talk in my room." I said gently, leading him down the hall after throwing a glare at Clint, who no longer smirked, but had a apologetic look on his face while his mouth was full of food.

He sat on my bed, looking at the dent in the wall. "I'll fix that." He said, and I chuckled, crawling around on my bed before sitting behind him, pulling on his shoulders so he would lay down and put his head on the bed, right between my thighs. He turned his head left, and then right, kissing the inside of my thighs before he settled, looking up at me.

"He give you way-too-long medical leave?" I asked, a hand gently moving his head so I could run my fingers through his hair.

"No. No, uh- he gave me something different this time."

I hummed, waiting for him to speak.

His eyes focused on the ceiling, his jaw set tight.

"The government is sending me into a 'medically enduced retirement'."

"What? Oh, please. They can't do that." I argued, but he shrugged.

"I guess the rule changed, because I'm now retired, and there's nothing anyone can do about it."

I was silent for a minute, thinking this through. Stefan looked at me, waiting, watching, hoping for some semblance of hope.

I knew there was none, though; no one can change this.

He sat up, and tackled me onto the bed, snuggling into my side.

I laughed, holding him tight.

"It'll be fine. You just get to spend more time with me." I bargained, and he grunted.

"Unfortunately."

I smacked him, pulling his face from my neck to look at him, squishing his cheeks.

"This is something you should feel lucky to have, my dear. Or maybe I'll spend some more time with the agent that I bumped into the other day?"

He let out a growl, and I laughed as he pushed me down onto him, kissing me intensely.

He rolled us over, and with a hand under each of my knees, pushed me so my chest was at his eyes.

"I think... we need some snuggle time." He muttered, laying all his weight on top of me.

I smiled, my arm going around his shoulders as he laid his head on my chest.

He plucked my metal arm from my body, gently placing it on the floor so we could be more comfortable.

Stefan didn't fall asleep, but closed his eyes, his body gently releasing tension until he completely relaxed.

"James." He hummed, not looking up at me, but waiting for me to react so he could continue on.

I raked a had through his hair, making him look at my face.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

----*----

I must've fallen asleep, because I woke up to Stefan gone, a note on the nightstand saying he loved me an would be back "soon."

That means I have nothing to do until he gets back, which could be 5 minutes or 5 hours from now.

I sat back in bed, thinking about how I got to this point.

This would have never happened, if my life hadn't been taken away.

But, then again, I had a life; one where I felt love, and happiness, and freedom, with the man and friends I care about more than anything.

Even Sam.

My entire life would have been completely different.

Like, for starters, I would be dead, probably buried with whatever woman my parents forced me to marry. I wouldn't have kids, or even attempt to make kids with my wife.

Steve would've never met Peggy, although I knew from the get-go he didn't actually like her; she was the first and only woman to be nice to him-- he asked me what being in love felt like, and we deduced it wasn't what he felt with Peg... only for him to lie to her because she would most likely be the only woman interested in him in his entire life for him.

He's a terrible liar, but I guess she didn't catch on.

Steve's in therapy, though, like me; he's working through his past misdeeds.

But anyway, it would've been so different. I would've never met Stefan, never met Sam or Cint or Thor or Nat or Wanda.

I might not have met Howard, and would never even had the possibility to be Tony's Uncle Buck.

Steve would've probably died before he turned 40, or even worse, been imprisoned for lying on enlistment forms and would die within a week of his sentence.

I scratched my metal arm, the phantom feelings being brought up from my nervous train of thought.

Would I have had a better life than mine now? No, but probably a less traumatizing one.

I should probably stop thinking about this; it could lead down a bad road.

But what else is there to do? Train? Like a normal person would? No, thank you.

I curled up in bed, snuggling into the sheets where he had been.

Stefan would be back soon, crawling into bed with me for apology snuggles after seeing my pouting face, and all would be okay again.

He'll smile at me and kiss every part of my metal arm until there's nowhere else to kiss and smile, moving to do the same to my face.

I'll laugh-- laugh!-- and try to pull away, but he won't let me and finish his job off with a raspberry on my cheek.

I smiled as I imagined the future, and found solace in the glow and warmth of patience and optimism it created.

Stefan will come back, because he always does.

He won't be gone long; he loves me too much.

So, here, in bed, I wait.