Luna Felix

27| Relief and Regrets

HIS POV

I didn't get slapped. Thankfully. In fact, she was horrified when I expressed that. All she wanted to do was look at me carefully, and then she accidentally smeared her blood and then proceed to wipe it and apologise simultaneously. Before I could start my version of body check, she jumped down from my arms and dashed to where my parents were waving at her. 

"Mom, Dad are you both okay?" She fusses over them and they in turn worry over her. She promises them that they just need to sit now, she will handle everything. 

"Go help your soldiers down Your Majesty. I will take over here." With that, I knew I had lost her for a good couple of hours. I know this woman is going to run herself dry, I am both grateful and sad about it.

Grateful because the pressure I was feeling of getting everyone out of here has suddenly lessened. As if my entire being knows that anything that comes will be alright. That I am no longer alone here.

And sad because she truly deserved to rest after the hectic time she have had both mentally and physically. I might not know much about her life before us but I am sure this wasn't how she imagined having another half felt like. My greatest insecurity in life was that I might never bring anything but burdens, danger and problems is turning out to be true. 

But for once it doesn't feel so hard to admit that to myself. And I am well aware that it's those smiles she gives me when our eyes meet, the random warm pats on my shoulder or arm or back, the determined look on her face when no one is looking at her. It makes me feel less of a burden. 

I have been so drowned in my thoughts that I didn't realise how long the cup of tea was hovering before me. I apologise and take the cup from Felix. The night is slowly falling upon us. And we have truly got so much done today.

We are finally outside of the fallen area with all the survivors. The seriously injured have been transferred to the nearest hospital, the few people that have been lost have been accounted for and their families have been informed. Tomorrow we will start moving the survivors to appropriate facilities. Felix had luckily met a nearby witch coven who have been really helpful to us and had even provided us with tents and food. 

With everything set, it feels like it's a camping trip. I don't say anything and neither does she. We both stand there overlooking the sky as the stars appear like a blanket above us. 

Feeling the now steadily growing warm hand on my shoulder, "A lot on your mind?" 

"Yes, it's just been one of those days. Thank you for the tea though."

"Anything I can help with?" She asked adjusting her bandages, finally. 

"How can you ask me that? I should be the one asking Felix. You just finished something so taxing and here you are again, helping me. Somedays I feel like you regret ever being mated to me. I mean I would be too. I haven't given you anything more than pain and suffering and challenges and...."

The question didn't hold much weight but I reiterated what I had been musing. I didn't look at her, I couldn't look at her. The distance between us and others was sufficient for no one to hear but I hope for a split second there that my mate couldn't hear me babble too like others. For a second there I wished I didn't open my mouth. 

"Stop it. Don't. Don't ever talk like that. Not about yourself. Never about yourself." She said, her voice soft, barely a whisper.

"You are right, leave this. How are you? How can I help you?" I  berate myself mentally. That should have been my first question. But here I was whining about myself.

"Rei, no no no no.." Her hands turn my face to look at her, her eyes as they stare at me are so sad. I have never truly seen her so sad before. "No never Oreif, never think like that. Every day I am grateful for being with you. How else could I have helped all these people? I would have been home feeling helpless, unable to do anything. And if being here with you doing something I love, helping people and making sure they are safe and sound and happy, requires me to go through some pains, then trust me when I say this - it's a small price to pay."

I was too choked up to say anything so she continued.

"You don't know I am genuinely happy here, with you. And I know I can't stop you from having those thoughts. But I promise," one of her hands slides from my face to right above my heart, "that this Felix, Future queen of Werewolves, will always cherish you, your people, your heart and everything you believe in. I, I will never fail you again, I.."

Her eyes fill with tears and once again I am lost and couldn't help but stupidly utter, "Oh goddess, what do I do?"

And she chuckles her tears still rimming her eyes, not yet falling. I would truly panic if they fall.

"Pretend you are a wall for a second and cover me." she requests.

I pull her in front of me, covering her from being visible to others who might be looking this way. And in this moment I regret not knowing how to joke, so I could lighten her mood. Or how to console someone so that I can bring her some comfort. 

She isn't looking at me, I couldn't help but reach for her. I gently raised her chin so she would look at me. The tears were still there in her eyes and her face red. I know she is trying to hold it in. Because we both know this isn't a safe place. It's miserable looking at her. And there is a lot I wished to say at that moment but I choose to say what was the most important to me. 

"You didn't fail. You didn't fail anyone. You saved us. You saved me. You know the relief I felt when I sensed you. It felt like I have found water again like I am breathing again. I don't fear anything when I am with you. And I, Orief, your Rei, King of Werewolves, promise that every day I will try to bring you the same peace and strength you bring me." And I know with my entire being that I meant every word I said to her. 

"Also, please, please no more tears. It looks like all the stars are in your eyes and that's not where they are supposed to be." I try to be all flowery and poetic. I don't know how I did on that but at least she smiles again. 

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I don't know about you people, but I cried writing it. I guess it's the bad day I had catching up to me or did I just write an epic chapter? 

I am sure this is one chapter I won't change during editing. Let's see if the morning me agrees to that sentiment or not.

Until next time, happy reading.