PAINTED LOVE

TWENTY-THREE

loïse madden

.  .  .  .  .  .

"I'll never be able to get through senior year." I wince at Crystal's words. 

"Of course you will! Hey, I'll help you and you can go to all these study groups and get a tutor, even! It's going to be fine, Crys", I assure her, touching her lower arm with my hand. 

The first week of school has started and I'm already a complete mess. In the end of August, I promised myself I'd try my best this year. I was going to be organized, structured, take myself on little walks every day, be healthy and active and do all my homework. I was just gonna be one of those girls, right?

Well, I haven't gone on a single walk this week, didn't even buy a planner or installed one of those aesthetic apps and we've eaten pizza 3 times already. Guess I'm not very good at fulfilling my promises. 

However, Crystal has gone even lower than I did. She's sitting at the dinner table, her books and chromebook taking up all the space. Her eyes are already red from crying over biochemistry. I get her, though. It's not as easy as it looks. 

I walk back to my room to continue studying human psychology and communication, one of the most relevant classes if you're going to be a doctor, as the professor said. You have to be able to read people. 

It's pretty interesting, but I like the human anatomy and its functions better. I've just finished behavioral psychology, or behavioralism. I'm onto neuropsychology now, which seems like something that's totally my cup of tea. 

We discussed a lot of philosophers, that had a lot to do with neuropsychology. I look for the right notebook, that I use for this specific class. I start getting a little bit nervous when I can't immediately find it in my bag and nowhere in my bedroom, either. 

You know the feeling you have when you can't find your phone in your pockets? Yeah, well that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. 

"Crystal?", I call out. "Did you see my blue notebook somewhere?"

I walk into the living room and Crystal shakes her head. 

"No, sorry. What you need it for?"

"Neuropsychology. I can't find it but it's actually really important because all my notes of the human psychology and communication are in there, not just that chapter."

"Did you check all your bags? And under your bed?", she asks. I nod my head. 

"Uh, maybe you left it in the classroom? On your desk? We did rush out today to be the first in the canteen, so it might be there."

I nod my head. Crystal's right, we rushed out the classroom so we wouldn't have to do the waiting row in the canteen, since we were both starving. Well hopefully, no one decided to steal it so I can pick it up tomorrow. 

"Okay. Well, can I borrow your notes then, please?", I ask Crystal. 

"Uh, I'd say you can. But I just finished biochemistry- finally, thank God, and I was just about to move on to human psychology and communication... Sorry, I really can't postpone this, I really need a good grade since I'm definitely failing biochemistry."

I purse my lips. Of course this has to happen to me.

"Or I could borrow it for just 20 minutes, run to the library very quickly and copy it there? So I can study from the copies and you get your notes back."

Crystal bites her lip as she considers the offer, then proceeds to shove her chair back.

"I guess we can do that. I'm actually in very much need of a break. Is there still some brownie left that you made yesterday?"