An alternate universe

Ch-35

'What did you just say?'
Seeing the colour drain from her face made me feel extremely guilty but there was no other excuse I could give to justify what I had done.

It was obvious and plain in sight.

Maybe everyone had been trying to overlook it all this time, ignoring everything and hoping my actions to be only for charity rather than emotions.
Even I had deluded myself into the same spiral.

Why elese would a person go to these lengths?

Even after knowing very well what detrimental carnage awaited me, I felt free in speech and motives after parting with the truth.

I did not want to lie anymore, there was just no point.

My head followed her panicked movements as she stood up abruptly with shock plastered on her face.
Her mouth was slightly gaping and her eyes bulged and then jerked rapidly from one side to another.

I had never seen her this disoriented.
Her entire posture conveyed dismay and desolation.

'Tell me this is a joke'
She said, turning in my direction after taking a deep breath.
She was trying to compose herself into a mask of nonchalance  but I could see how tightly she clenched the sides of her dress.

'I wish this was all just a joke'
The burning in my throat was suffocating.
'but it's not'
The words were just a whisper.

I had to set my eyes far and away from her simmering aura and keep them from tearing up.

'Did he do something to you?! Did he touch you? I am going to annihilate him'
I was alarmed to see the growing rage on her face, her hands shook and her eyes smoldered as she prepared to move.

'No it's not like that'
I rapidly conveyed to change her chain of thoughts.
I was afraid she would take off any moment and find him.

'How can you be such a fool Namsoona? Out of all other people?!'
I unconsciously cowered back at the intensity of her raised voice.
'He is mafia and a murderer!'

A slight ringing was starting to appear in my ear, numbing my senses for a while.
How badly had I inconvenienced everyone.
It was as if everyone could see sense other than me.
How utterly shameful.

But there was something else trying to burst out from my chest.
A huge hoard of rebellious feelings that had been trapped for so long.

I had committed some mistakes yes, but my intentions were pure.
They always had been, I had never been selfish in those.

Many people might have found my decisions to be stupid but who are they to judge? Are they the almighty with no sin?

Why should I feel ashamed? when all I wanted was a little more good in this world, a little more hope and trust in this hopeless and cruel world, for the people who deserved  new beginnings in life.

I wanted to be the hope for people who had stopped believing.

I wanted to be a person who believed in their own inquiry rather than rumors and prejudice.

'He is not trustworthy! How could you give him all the evidence? He was fooling you!'

I was willing to see things without prejudice.
I wanted to understand his pain.
Was this a crime?
His lies had hurt me yes but would I give up on morals and greater good for some flimsy revenge?

It would be enough if I could rescue him from this drug business and Pavel.
Many lives would be saved.

He would finally be free. I would be without a burden too.