Playboy

| 22 |

I was awakened by the sun shining in my eyes. I was entangled in a blanket, my body bare and hair somehow still damp.

Forcing my eyes open, I found the bed...empty?

Now I was fully awake, wondering where Lando had gone. Standing up from the unbelievably soft bed, I wrapped the blanket around me, covering my naked body.

The floorboards creaked under my feet, as I walked over to the glass door, which stood open. With careful steps, I walked onto the warm patio.

The pool was empty, Lando no where to be seen.

Just as I was about to turn around, a massive splash suddenly came from the pool, Lando appearing in a jump.

He was breathless, pushing the wet curls out of his face. How long had he been underwater..?

"What are you doing?" I asked him with a gentle smile, sitting down on the edge of the pool, blanket around me as my toes dipped in the water.

Lando turned around, surprised. "Just going for a swim" He replied casually, making his way towards me.

As he stood beneath me, his eyes lit up bloodshot red. It could just be from the chlorine, but that expression... he wasn't okay.

"Is everything okay?" I asked softly, stroking my fingers against his cheeks. His jaw clenched, then he put on a smile.

"Of course" He responded, reaching up to softly kiss my cheek. I found it hard to believe him.

"Lando." I said, staring intensely down at him. His eyes twitched, as they locked with mine. And then tears started glazing inside them.

"Oh Lando" I whispered, my hands finding his cheeks. I could hear his ragged breath, as I pressed my forehead against his, feeling water drops fall onto me.

"I just don't feel so well" He whispered so quietly, so softly, that it was barely hearable.

"Speak up Lando, please" I whispered back to him, as if it was suddenly a crime to speak loudly. All I wanted was to hear the truth, no matter how much it could potentially hurt.

I could feel his body heat against mine, our faces still pressed together. His breath was still ragged, heart beating fast.

"I don't want you to leave"

His voice trembled, his whole body trembled. The tears hit my thumbs, before I even saw them leaving his eyes.

"No, no Lando don't think about that" I said, my own voice already on the verge of breaking point. We couldn't have this conversation.

I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it through it.

"Well I have to Emms, for fucks sake!!" Lando burst out in a shout. I froze, his words sinking in, causing slits all over my heart.

He was right. He did have to think about that, he had to face that. But I still refused to do so. I'd chosen to live in denial, and now I'd dug the hole too deep to get out again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout" Landos voice immediately returned to how it always was; sweet, soft and gentle.

He stroked his fingers against my cheek then jawline until he found my bare neck. His touch was ice cold, and yet it somehow warmed me.

"Don't apologize, you're right" I told him, returning to our whisper game. That was all I could say, all I could admit.

"I just love you so.." Lando could barley whisper, his voice cracking. "so fucking much Emma" He whispered, the tears crawling down his cheeks.

Now mine started escaping as well, rolling wetly down my cheeks, as I desperately tried to compose myself.

"And I've never experienced love like this.." Lando continued, unable to look straight into my eyes. "Fucking hell, sometimes I question if I've even been in love before you"

I couldn't respond, it hurt too much. There was so much love between us. I loved him so much, that it pained me. He loved me so much, that it pained him.

"I'm not sure I can continue without you Emma" Lando admitted truthfully, his voice so sorrowful it'd hurt whoever heard it.

"Don't say that Lando." I immediately said, pulling away so I could properly look at him. "Please don't ever say that"

Lando stayed silent.

Tears were crawling down our cheeks, as we stared at each other. "You can't think like that, Lando, please don't think like that" I whispered to him, my voice so hoarse I struggled to even form a single word.

We both studied each other, taking in every feature, every little detail in each others faces. The two moles on his face, his smiles lines...

As I stared at him, I knew. From the bottom of my heart I knew, that this boy, he was the love of my life.

I could only hope I wasn't that of his.

"Can you promise me one thing?" I asked him, breaking the silence that had occurred.

Lando narrowed his eyes, hesitant. I just wanted for him to say yes, to reassure me that he would be fine, even when I can't be there.

I swallowed, feeling the lump in my throat growing by the second.

"Can you promise me that you'll forget me, move on when that time comes..?" I asked, biting down on my lower lip, the second the words had escaped my lips.

I could almost see Landos heart drop, his eyes somehow filling with even more sorrow than previously.

"You know I can't make promises I can't keep, London-girl"

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This one kinda hurt aha..

I'm sorry to say this, but since we're nearing the end of this book, for the rest of this week only 1 chapter will be released every day!<3

I hope you enjoyed, my heart is definitely hurting a bit, because I love these 2!!❤️‍🩹