Episode 1: Woodsman

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I was waiting under a streetlamp. Me and the Sheriff got a call about a disturbance complaint. Then a taxi stopped. He walked out and approached me. "Bigby." I said, greeting him.
"Y/n." He simply said, greeting me back as he tapped his cigarette. Bigby almost always had a cigarette. I dunno if it's just from stress he had, or if it's the fact Bigby Wolf is the Big Bad Wolf in the Fables. You know the stories of Riding Hood and the pigs. Maybe they help keep the wolf in. "Ready to tackle what we got called for?" I asked.
"Just keep yourself out of trouble." He told me. I nodded. We went to the apartment and saw a toad standing in front of the stairs. "Mr Toad." Bigby said.
"Bigby!" Toad said, turning around.
"Toad, you're...a toad. What happened to getting glamour for you and your kid?" I asked him.
"It's... expensive. I just stepped out for just a second to see what kind of damage this drunk shit is doing. Can we not talk about this now?" Toad asked. "It's The Woodsman. He's upstairs causing a ruckus."
"Okay, we'll go check it out. But you have to get your glamour." I told him.
"If you can't afford to look human, you have to go to The Farm. It's as simple as that." Bigby told him.
"You have any idea how much it costs to have an entire family glamoured?" Toad asked.
"Whatever it costs, it's worth it." Bigby told him. Something hit the ground outside behind us. "Fuckin' hell! This is what I called you about Sheriff." Toad said.
"Toad, what are we walking into exactly?" I asked.
"The Woodsman's in a fuckin rage. You have to make him go." Toad said.
"What set him off?" Bigby asked.
"Who knows what it was this time. Man's got a hair trigger. I avoid him as much as possible." Toad said.
"Fuck you!" We heard in a woman's voice.
"I didn't know anyone else was up there." Toad said. Bigby dropped his cigarette and the two of us went up there.

We went in the hallway. Bigby picked up a matchbox before we went to the door. "What do you think?" I asked. Bigby kicked open the door. We saw The Woodsman slap a woman. "Whoa woah woah! Hey! HEY!" Bigby yelled as he tackled The Woodsman and pushed him into the wall.
"Got something on your face." The woman told The Woodsman. She spat in his face. "Why'd you hit that woman?" I asked as I went to The Woodsman. We always called him Woody. Woody pushed Bigby back. "What're you gonna fuckin' do? Huh?" Woody asked.
"You're drunk, alright? Think this through." Bigby said. "If you keep on like this, i won't have any choice but to put you down."
"Put ME down? You got a shit fuckin' memory, Wolf. Thats not how it went last time." Woody told him.
"This isn't last time." Bigby told him. The Woodsman started a fight with Woody. I grabbed Woody from Bigby and pushed him into the couch. "This doesn't have to get any worse, Woody." I told him. He pushed the couch at me. Bigby caught me and pushed me aside. Woody continued fighting Bigby. Bigby threw Woody around the room. Woody tried using his axe on Bigby. He got it stuck in the ground and Woody took it. He bashed it against Woody's jaw. "Damn it." I said. "Good fight, Sheriff."
"You... should help her get out." Bigby told me.
"I'm not leaving until i get whats mine." She told us.
"Yer nod geddig shid, bidch." Woody told her. I kicked Woody's arm. "Don't call her that. I'll make you wait outside if you can't play nice."
"He bogue buy jaw, yew badturd." Woody groaned.
"And still you talk." Bigby said as we approached the woman. She might've been a prostitute. She had a small mirror in her hand and was looking at her eye. "Shit. He got me good." She said.
"What happened here, miss?" I asked.
"You saw all the best bits." The Prostitute told us.
"Whats your name?" Bigby asked.
"Whatever you'd like it to be, handsome."
"Okay, I'm calling you 'Sassy' then." I told her.
"That works." "Sassy" responded.
"Why was he hitting you?" Bigby asked.
"He asked me if i recognized him... knew who he was... I said I didn't. He started beating on me. Then you two showed up, started beating on him." She told us. "Well, you did. He mostly yelled at him." She added, pointing at me.
"Yeah, i...don't like fights. I try not to." I told her. It was a lie.
"Is there a reason? I mean, the Sheriff put you right under this name out of nowhere. There was only ever one Big Bad Wolf." "Sassy" pointed out.
"I'b Duh Woodsman, yooo hoaar..." Woody told her. "...aye saved liddle reeed raiding hood frum this... monster... I cut dis fugger oben... and filled hids belly full of..." Woody fixed his jaw with a loud cracking heard. "...stones. AND THREW HIM IN THE FUCKING RIVER. Thats who the fuck I am, you stupid bitch!" He yelled.
"Will you two excuse me for a moment?" Bigby asked.
"Bigby?" I asked. Bigby charged at The Woodsman and they went through the wall and window of the apartment. "Bigby!" I yelled. Me and "Sassy" went to the hole in the wall. Bigby was out for a second, but he woke up. Toad was out there too. Bigby landed on Toad's car. "He's fine." "Sassy" said. We saw Woody get up and go to Bigby. "Shit. Let's go!" I told her. I grabbed Woody's axe on our way out.

Me and "Sassy" went down to the street and saw Bigby being choked by Woody. "Shit!" I said. I ran at him with the axe. I raided it above my head and saw Bigby's eyes going yellow. "Oh no. Bigby's eyes..."
The woman grabbed the axe and hit The Woodsman in the back of the head. Bigby started gasping. "Thanks you two." He said.
"Thank her. Not me." I said. Woody tried crawling away but flopped on his face. "I'm just getting what he owes me. You alright back there? I mean, the eyes and the teeth... You aren't supposed to do that are you?" She asked.
"Not if I can avoid it." Bigby said. She pulled out a few coins from Woody's pocket. "Great." She threw the coins and started kicking him. "Aisllle kill yew. Yew fuckin' bidch." Woody groaned. Faith pushed the axe deeper in his brain. "Good thing Fables are hard to kill." She said.
"Suppose it is. Right, Y/n." Bigby said, patting my back.
"Yea-up." I said. The girl started walking away as Bigby yanked the axe out of Woody's head. We saw the woman trying to light a smoke. We went to her and Bigby lit it for her. "Who do you work for?" He asked.
"These lips are sealed." She said. "Sorry." She looked at the ground, then back at us. "Hey. You like my ribbon?" She asked.
"Beautiful." Bigby complimented.
"Yeah. It's... purple." I said. She took another smoke. "I feel like we met before." Bigby added.
"I guess we all did once. But things change." She said. I looked back and saw The Woodsman was gone. "Oh shit. The Woodsman's gone." I said.
"He'll pay." Bigby said.
"Hes got nothing to give Sheriff i checked. Plus I swung an axe into his head. I'd say we're even." The woman said.
"Maybe we should be arresting you." I told her.
"How much did he owe ya?" Bigby asked.
"100." She said. I sighed. "I'll be fine if I don't have the money.
"No. No. Bigby, keep your money. I'll pay." I said as I opened my wallet. "Twenty...forty...fifty...eight...all i got is $58 dollars.
"You've done enough. Really." The woman told us.
"Take it." I said. She took it.
"I'm still gonna need a statement." Bigby said.
"Little late for an office visit. I'll stop by your apartment." She told us.
"How do you-"
"You live in the smallest apartment in The Woodlands. Everyone knows that." She said. "You're not as bad as everyone thinks you are, Wolf." She said. She walked away.
"Well Sheriff. Let's get home." I told him. He lit another cigarette.

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