Queen of Nothing

28. Ambush

"The writer's guild?" Katie looked mortified, "Since when?" 

I shrugged, "Since a couple of weeks. It's actually really fun." 

She covered her mouth to keep from laughing and I felt my defenses rise. 

"I'm sorry," she heaved in between giggles, "I just can't imagine you in the same room as those nerds."

"And why not?" I demanded, recoiling when my tone came out sharper than intended. 

She sobered up immediately, her eyes widening, "Oh no, that's not what-" 

"Let's talk about something else. Dean?" I looked at my phone. 

And then she softened like honey, all giddy and school girl-like, spreading over the bed with a beautiful smile on her face. "Yeah, Dean." 

I laughed and laid down next to her, "Tell me more." 

"It's so," she gestured, trying to find the words for it, "just so...I don't even have the words really."

"Try," I rolled my eyes. 

"I mean you know what it's like," she bumped her shoulder against mine, "or did, at least." 

I frowned, "No, not really. Not with Cole." I bit my tongue to distract from the idea of Milo floating into my head. 

"Oh you've got to be kidding me," she replied. 

I turned to her, "Maybe in the beginning. I'd get butterflies and stuff when he did nice things for me. I was also reeling from...everything that happened." Milo leaving. Gia running away. A lot of things, really. 

"But honestly," I paused and searched for the right words, "I think I would have felt that way towards anyone that showed me a bit of kindness around that time." 

She raised her eyebrows, "Oh. I guess I never thought about it like that."

"I have felt it though," I ventured cautiously. 

She waggled her eyebrows, "Who?" 

"Promise me you won't make this into like, a thing?" I gnawed on my lip out of anxiety. 

Katie nodded, "Well duh. Now spill." 

"Milo," I said simply, watching her closely to gauge a reaction. One moment passed, then two, and she all but exploded, 

"No freaking way." She sat up immediately, eyes wide, "You know that he's Cole's-" 

"Stepbrother?" I finished for her, "Yeah. I've known for a while." 

"So when did you guys...is that why you were being super shady on your birthday?" 

I let out a small smile and looked away. She launched herself at me and grabbed my shoulders, squealing in excitement, 

"This is so exciting. Childhood best friends to lovers-" 

"Woah there Sally," I shrugged her off, "you're getting ahead of yourself. I don't know if that's what we're meant to be." 

She frowned, "But you like him, right?" 

I hesitated. Like seemed too brief, too flimsy of a word to explain what I felt for Milo. This was something that transcended rational thought, and for the first time in my life, I had no bearings as to what it was. 

"I don't know," I looked down at my lap, "we're not really talking right now." 

She drew her knees up and rested her chin on them, looking at me intently, "So when did this start?"