Breaking J.A.C.I.E. (All Time Low Fanfiction | Jack Barakat)

Day 5: Love Me Like The First Time

The sun was starting to set, casting a warm golden glow across the landscape surrounding the cabin. Jack and I were on the porch outside, warming ourselves with a blanket each. On the little side table between us were two steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

"Remember that one sunset on the beach?" Jack spoke up, his eyes looking up at the changing sky with wonder.

I turned my head to look at him, his profile etched against the fading light. "Which one?"

"The first one," he stated. "Where we first told each other we loved each other."

A soft smile tugged at the corners of my lips as the memories of that evening came flooding back. "Of course I remember. It feels like a lifetime ago now."

"Yeah, it does," Jack chuckled, the sound blending with the quiet rustle of the evening breeze. "I still carry that heart shaped shell with me in my backpack wherever I go."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he nodded, glancing at me, "it's a reminder of us. I have a piece of that moment whenever we're apart."

I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself. These memories were good ones. But things felt different now. I never expected them to always stay the same, I knew things would change. We were always going to grow and evolve. But I didn't ever think we'd be in this situation. I was still hoping we'd go back to the way we were. It was an impossible wish. Yet, I at least wanted a new normal that gave me butterflies.

"You were so nervous before you told me you loved me," I reminisced.

He raised his brows, denying that he ever felt that way. "Was I?"

"I could feel your heart beating out of your chest before you said it," I grinned, calling him out.

"Maybe I was..." he admitted cheekily.

The sun dipped lower on the horizon, the sky turning pink and orange. I took hold of my hot chocolate, letting it heat up my hands as I took a sip. Its sweetness contrasted to the cool evening air.

"I was so sure you were going to say it first," he confessed, a playful glint in his eyes. "I was waiting for days."

"Is that so?" I challenged teasingly, keeping the mug in my hands.

Jack nodded, his eyes locked with mine. "Yeah, I thought I was being obvious. I was trying to drop hints like breadcrumbs. You were always better at coming forward with what you were thinking."

"Breadcrumbs? Teeny-tiny ones!" I gasped dramatically. "Although... you blurting out to Alex that we were seeing each other again should have told me..."

"I don't think I knew it then. But when I finally said it, it felt like the most natural thing in the world."

Silence settled between us, the nostalgia of our past mingling with the reality of our present. The challenge was to bridge the gap between the two, to find a way back to the excitement we once felt.

We watched the sun slowly disappear beyond the horizon, leaving behind one last burst of light before the twilight hues took over. The porch was illuminated by the light next to the door, beckoning all the bugs to come and dance.

"What made you fall in love with me, Jacie?" Jack asked out of the blue.

I stared at him, his question hanging in the air. The light cast shadows on his face, emphasising the sincerity in his eyes. I took a moment, trying to search for specifics that could encapsulate the intangible spark that drew me to him.

"I don't know..." the words weren't coming. It was a feeling, not a description, "everything?"

"Everything?" he echoed, his gaze never leaving mine.

I nodded, attempting to articulate the intangible. "I can't pinpoint anything exactly. It was just a general feeling. The way we understood each other, the way we could laugh together, the way you became my best friend in such a short amount of time. It was... everything."

He smiled softly, shifting in his chair to get a better view of me. "I fell for the way you looked at the world. You have this way of making ordinary moments extraordinary. It isn't just the grand gestures; it's the little things."

I sighed, putting my hot chocolate back onto the table. "I don't see the world in the same way anymore."

Jack's gaze softened, his eyes searching mine as if trying to read the depths of my emotions. "I don't think either of us do. It's been three years, it would be weird if we did."

He was right, but I wondered if I'd lost my optimism. I liked to see the good things in the world, to make the best of my time alive. I had my heavy moments, the ones where I lost my way and needed help to climb back up. This time felt so different, though. I'd tried to hold on for as long as possible, and it all shattered right before my eyes.

I wanted to reach out for that hope again. It was all up to me to do so.

"Maybe we can discover new ways to see it together," I suggested.

"I'd like that," he admitted, his voice carrying the weight of longing. "I miss us, Jacie."

"I miss it too," I confessed, reflecting the shared ache.

The stars started to shimmer overhead, bringing me back to our first night here. We told each other we missed being ourselves then as well. Then, it felt like such a distant declaration. I leaned back in my chair, the blanket wrapped snugly around me. Things felt more concrete this time. They were still hopeful, but not impossible.

"I want us to rediscover our joy," I said, my gaze fixed on the starlit sky.

Jack nodded, a silent agreement.

"You know..." I looked at him again, "the living room gets kinda cold at night..."

"Want me to take the couch?" he offered.

I shook my head, fixing his misunderstanding, "how do you feel about sharing a bed again?"

His eyes sparkled with a mixture of surprise and delight. "Are you sure?"

"I want to be close to you. If you'll have me."

He nodded. It was a small step, yet a significant one.