Chapter Fourteen

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Five years ago

Amber was sat nervously biting her nails in the police office interview room, beside her was Sydney's friend Drew. She had her arm around her, nervously looking from the door to the table and back to the door again.

"Why are they taking so long?"Amber asked frustrated.

"I'm not sure Hon, but it could be good news you just never know" Drew replied.

Amber stood and began to pace while Drew looked on, hoping this would be over quickly so that she could get out of there.

Amber had been in and out of this police station every week. Firstly being interviewed and interrogated by the police officers handling the case, and then of course there was the public appeals which had lasted only the first weeks to no avail. Nobody had come forward with any information, and no sightings of Sydney had been reported in the last two months. Well if you don't count the cruel letters sent in by Hoaxers, and a few odd letters from Mediums, one saying she was alive and the other saying she had drowned and was watching Amber from the other side.

The local news had shown the story for the first two weeks, and only had it really reached further afield for a few days, before being cut from news channels for another big story. Amber tried desperately to keep the story out there, she even went on all the radio stations within a thousand miles to get people looking, but she was told again and again to stop concentrating on looking for Sydney. There was no way she was alive out there, especially not after falling into the ocean with injuries already sustained, it just wasn't possible. Amber pleaded with them at first, explaining that Syd was the strongest swimmer she had ever met, but the police and then her friends began to stop trying to explain to her that it wasn't likely she had made it. Most of her friends had already been pushed away. She had only let Drew stay by her side because she was the one other person closest to Sydney. She had helped her look for her. She spent endless nights up with her just combing the beaches for anything she could find.

The door opened and in walked Detective Rosslyn, her navy suit tailored for a snug fit. She was in her late forties, and the only person still taking Ambers calls at the station. Apparently they were very busy on other cases.

"Hi ladies, please sit down" She gestured for Amber to sit.

"Have you found her?" Amber quickly asked.

"No, we have not Mrs Beaton. We have not found her"

Amber leant over the table and Drew pulled her back by the waist.

"Then why am I down here again. Why aren't you out looking?"

"We have called off the search for Sydney, Amber. I'm so sorry, we are no longer actively looking for her by land patrol nor water"

"What" Amber screamed

"I'm so sorry" the detective said.

"You're not sorry you never even looked in the first place"

"Mrs Beaton"

"Mrs Beaton nothing. You make me sick"

Drew reached out and smoothed back Amber's hair trying to calm her.

"I assure you Amber we looked and we have searched. We will continue of course, to keep the case open and should any new evidence come to light we will be straight on it. I'm just telling you, that maybe it's time to start grieving"

"To grieve... to grieve" Amber spat back.

"I will not grieve for her. I will not. She's not even been found. The day I put her body in the ground I will grieve" Tears streamed down her face. Drew stood and helped her up slowly before she and Amber walked out of the police station for the last time.

In the car park Drew opened the door for her. Amber thanked her and sat down inside. Drew shut it behind her and got in the driver's seat. She leaned in toward her. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" She asked.

Amber turned away and wiped her tears. "Maybe we could try the radio again, you know go further afield. Maybe California even?! As far as we can spread the word. I mean people keep calling from the local papers asking me and still we get nothing. I know they only call because it makes a good headline famous Lesbian tattoo Artist Amber Rose Beaton loses wife to tragedy on her wedding day"

"They're so cruel" Drew replied.

"Yep" Amber quipped.

"You know Amber, that Sydney loved you so much that she would have come back to you if she could"

Amber turned to her. "I know"

Drew started the car. "You want to stay at mine?" She asked.

"No, I need to be at mine and Syds. I have to be there in case she comes home. I couldn't not be there"

Drew just nodded, knowing that Amber wasn't making much sense right now. She knew she was rife with grief. Amber probably wouldn't be back to the happy and confident Amber anytime soon.

Drew pulled away and drove Amber back to the little house she had once shared beachside with Sydney. She drove up to the drive and let her out. She waved goodbye as Amber got out and without a word Amber marched up to her front door and let herself in.

Behind the closed doors Amber sunk to the floor with the mounds of unopened mail beneath her. She let out the deepest gut wrenching sobs, mouth open no sound coming out she laid herself down and her hands clutched her stomach. She wailed and wailed until she was left in silence. As the day became night and the porch light came on behind her she could see the envelopes lit up beside her head. One marked Sydney Presley. She sat up and took it in her hands her fingers pulling open the paper. It was a letter from the Art College. Sydney had passed her exams and her certificates were tucked behind the letter.

Amber stood and walked to the lounge. She took a picture off of the wall and removed the picture from the frame, and inside she put the certificate and hung it back up. She looked at the picture with pride. She turned the lamp on underneath and she sat there looking at it. Around the room were many pictures of Sydney but the most recent were the wedding pictures on the mantel. They had been delivered weeks after the incident. The largest one was of Sydney and Amber at the wheel of the yacht, both in their gowns. Amber moved over and took the picture in her arms. She reached down and kissed the glass.

"I'm sorry" She whispered.

They had planned the day for a year, and every detail was in place. The yacht had been chartered by experts in the wedding business that had specialised in gay weddings. The flowers were sunflowers, Sydney's favourite. The reception was only close family and friends. Sydney's parents had died when she was only fifteen, and Amber was an only child, so it was a very small affair. It was so very romantic though, and a day of laughter. Even Amber's Mother had walked her down the aisle whilst Drew's Father walked Sydney.

Amber looked at the wedding band upon her finger. It was white gold with an emerald stone. She remembered Sydney's. It had been identical, only with a golden piece of Amber as her stone. She wondered where it was now and hoped it was still with her, wherever she was.

"I love you Syd" She whispered, as a tear escaped down to her lips.

She jumped as the phone rang, wiping at her eyes furiously. She decided to let it ring out and hung the picture up. It was as she had thought, another message from her mother.

"Amber Rose Beaton if you do not pick up your phone by nine a.m. I will be coming over to make sure you're okay. You know I want to be here for you sweetheart. Please don't shut me out, I love you"

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