Life after Jordan

17 and in love! <3

Our story starts 5 years ago when I'm only 17. I was a very ambitious young lady. I go back to these moments all the time.

Jordan was 18 almost 19. God was he handsome. He was my best friend for 2 years then we started dating. We were the perfect couple. However, it was a long distance relationship.

We were only together as a couple for 8 months when he proposed. It was at my favorite restaurant. We were there with his brother and sister law. He was home for the holidays.

You see me and Jordan didn't willingly have a long distance relationship. He was in the military. He was told where to go, what to do, and how to act. We made it through everything together as best friends and pushed through everything that the Air force threw at us. We were good. Perfect, actually.

I was still in high school. My junior year actually. We decided to hold off on the wedding till the October after I graduated. I swear I had the wedding planned before we were even together for a year. It was exhausting.

Not only was the planning exhausting. My mother and I fought. She was convinced that I hated her and the only reason I was getting married was to get out of here. Sometimes she was convinced that I was making her mistakes. It got so bad she called me a whore and that was final. I shut her out of my life when I turned 18. Jordan knew I needed out, so he payed for me a small apartment close to my high school till I could graduate.

We were best friends for 2 years and then together for 2 more before we got married. This moves our story to 3 years ago.

We had a perfect year of marriage. Living on base had it's perks that's for sure. We were never rich but we had enough to get by. He still bought me roses for our anniversary every month. I think he kept up with our relationship better than I did. I was thankful for that.

This moves our story up again a year. This is 2 years ago.

The second year of marriage was still perfect. We barely argued over anything serious. As crazy as it sounds, I think being best friends helped our relationship. We decided to try to have kids. After trying for a long time, we learned that Jordan couldn't have children. Well not that he couldn't. It was more of a 'highly impossible' thing. We kept trying that long year. It just never happened for us though. But, I was just coming off of my birth control shot that I had been getting in high school and I put that to blame a lot.

This moves our story to just last year. This is when the happy ending is ruined.

After being stationed in the states, Jordan was stationed over seas. He wasn't suppose to fight so I was happy with that.

We called whenever we could. I wrote a letter everyday. I kept track. He was writing back fairly fast. He got a phone call every so often and even if it was a short call it was enough. Usually he didn't get much time. I remember how each call started and ended.

"Hey baby. I'm fine. I'm alive. I love you." That's how he always started. I would always cry my eyes out. You never know how fast 5 minutes can pass when it's the love of your life.

After about 6 months, the letters slowed down and the phone calls were less frequent. It was hectic and very nerve racking. I'm a worry wort as it is.

I remember the day my world came crashing down. I was cleaning the kitchen when I heard the knock on the door. I remember drying my hands as I walked to answer the door. I didn't bother looking to see who it was.

I'm gonna pause for some dramatic effect. We all love a good story.

Do you remember the worst moment of your life? Before this happened, it was losing my papa. Not my dad, but my grandfather. He raised me and I was closer to him than anyone else. We did everything together and then I grew up. I regret every moment I could've spent with him to this day.

When I opened the door and saw the officers with a folded flag, I dropped the wash rag. I remember grabbing the flag and dropping to the ground. To this day, I don't remember what they were telling me. The only thing that ran through my mind was that he was gone. At the moment, it didn't matter how. All that mattered was that he was gone. I was alone in this world. He was my best friend. That was my one and only person. I was utterly heartbroken.

The next few months were a daze for me. I attended a funeral that Jordan would've liked. I remember going home and listening to Carrie Underwood's song called just a dream. The words fit the situation perfectly. It was too perfect for words. I think Carrie understood the pain. I don't know how but she must've. I listen to that song everyday.

Then something snapped. I moved off base and ran to the other side of the country. It wasn't easy but I couldn't stay there anymore and I couldn't take everything. I had my own apartment for a while but then I met a bouncy girl named Abigail.

She was something else. I had taken up a bad case of drinking my problems away when I met her.

She was being kicked out of the apartment above the bar for some reason and I needed a roomie so I asked her. She agreed.

This is where our story starts officially.