~~langst~~ (one shots)

rain

I stand, in the freezing cold, no jacket, no shoes, not hat or scarf, on the hill.

The clouds are dark and heavy, ready to burst at any moment. Letting rip a devistating storm of rain to go with the already roaring wind.

I stand and wait.

I wait.

I wait.

And it finally happens.

The clouds start to let go. They starts off slowly, letting a few drops fall and explode on the floor.

Testing the waters.

Then it worsens.

And suddenly they burst.

They let go everything inside them. All that built up energy and weight, letting go in a wave of droplets.

Icy cold rain soars down to the floor as bullets, hitting me with everything they've got, daring me to do worse, to fight back.

I feel my walls start to crumble.

I'm in my safe place now. I can let them fall.

The tree where my mama was buried. Where my sister was buried. Where my family was buried.

The hill we used to climb together, playing and laughing and  teasing, before the garrison.

Before my step dad came along and took them from me. Before he took a part of my soul and crushed it like it was nothing.

Before I found out whay my idol think I am. An idiot who's useless and can't do anything.

Before I found out my crush, though I was a piece of shit who can't take anything seriously.

Before my two best friends left me alone.

....

Before I lost myself in the storm that is my own mind.

The rain is my happy place.

I can hide my shame, my guilt, my pain in the clouds. I can let it out and not fear burdening anyone.

So I do.

I scream. I roar. I cry.

I fall to my knees and I pound on the floor till my hands are red raw. I grab my head and pull my hair till it comes out in clumps. I scratch my neck with my sharpened nails until i bleed.

I let it all out...

Everything that's been hurting me or tormenting me. Every bit of stored up guilt and self hatred and pain.

I scream it from my body.

I let it bleed from my wounds.

I pull it out along with my hair.

I beat it out into the ground.

You ask... Why is the rain such a happy place, when it's so dreary and unhappy?

Well...

Because I am too...

Because it's comforting to know someone is crying with me. That I'm not the only one screaming and letting everything go. That I'm not the only one bending under the pressure, not the only one who can't keep it in forever, that I'm bound to burst sometime.

It helps to have something. A safe place, a happy place.

Well this is all I have.. even if it's actually a sad place.

Because it's comforting to know I'm not alone...

Please send requests I'm having a bit of a hard time coming up with stuff. I'll take anything you have about Lance (as long as I can get a feel for what you're saying) and I won't judge whatever it is.

Really short one shot about rain because it won't stop raining here.... IM ON HOLIDAYS. WHY IS IT LIKE THIS?!
ahem...
Anyway! 5k reads!!!! Yussss!!

I hope you enjoyed!!
-fox