To be given a chance - (BxB)

Chapter fifteen - Make me feel safe

A/N: Hello! I'm sorry this chapter took a lot longer to update, but here it is - and it's really long (sorry) I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter, but I hope that you guys enjoy it nonetheless! 

Warnings -

Panic attacks and Negative thoughts

Harry's POV -

Pounding, aching and dull throbbing line the whole of my body. Though my eyes are clamped closed, they feel like they have seen nothing but direct sunlight for days. I don't know whether it's even worth opening them. What is the point? Marcus has probably already dragged me back, to live out the rest of my days as nothing more than a pathetic little punching bag.

I take a few moments to gather my thoughts. Maybe it isn't Marcus that has taken me. It doesn't smell like the usual damp and mold ridden house that I have lived in for so long. This place smells clean, like fresh laundry and coconut, it's familiar. Whatever it is I am laying on is nothing compared to the lumpy mattress I have at home. Every inch of me is wanting to move, to get away and to find out where I am... but I physically can't. My body and my mind are in no state to even try.

The wetness that trails over my cheeks is either from tears, that have managed to squeeze themselves from my closed eyes, or from the sweat that seems to drip to the sides of my forehead. My hair clings against my face like wet clothes, but I don't have the energy or the strength to move it from its irked position, so I leave it to cling to my face, not bothering to care enough about it.

A brutal flinch overtakes my body on instinct, as my broken ears pick up on some muffled noises. Whimpers slip from my throat from the harsh jostle, the pain becoming unbearable. I want to cry. I want to let out all of my agony through wails and screams until my lungs give out... until I can't breathe anymore, until I can't feel anything... But I don't. I can't. Instead of hollering out in agony - I listen. I listen as best as I can without the use of an aid. It takes me a few minutes to realise that the noises I heard were actually voices. It's hard to tell where they are coming from, but I try to form the odd hums into words anyway.

"We should take him to the hospital." I can just barely make it out. They're muffled, yet tentative pattern of their voice sounds nothing like Marcus' harsh tone of talking. No. This voice is soft, vaguely familiar, almost comforting. But my mind refuses me to believe that the voice belongs to the person I wish it belongs to. Because it can't be. The heavy pit in my stomach sinks deeper and into nothing but a twinge of pure self pity.

"And say what, exactly?" Another voice speaks. This one is less soft, less timid. The vibrations it makes are higher... it's a woman. It comes across as matter of fact, almost as if to tell the other person 'what would be the point.' I agree with the lady's voice... people at the hospital would only ask questions. Questions need answers, and I don't want to do that. I can't. I won't.

I suddenly feel a small sense of alarm rise in my stomach, making me wish I had never tried to listen so hard. Wishing I could just forget the whole thing and be done with it. But before I can, panic starts to sink in, twisting knots and churning my insides together. What if they take me anyway? I feel my eyelids try to peel themselves open as fast as they can despite the swelling. I need to leave! I can't be taken to a hospital, it'll only make things worse.

My eyes dart up at the ceiling and all I can see is white swirly patterns. They're blurred due to the tears that trail from my eyes. My mind is broken and betraying. It feels like I am being engulfed with nothing but thoughts of death, I can't go to the hospital, I can't go back to Marcus. I'm drowning, I'm dying. Anxiety and panic eat away at my stomach, while pain and exhaustion drag my body down into what I am laying on. I want them to stop so I can breathe but they won't. My breathing comes out in gasps as my crippled lungs try to protest.